What A Croc! Nabbed By The Fashion Police

Originally posted May 7, 2008

Crocs and Croc-wannabe’s are springingup everywhereagain, which reminds me of an encounter Holly had with thefashion police last Spring.

“You got the wrong ones,” her friend announced, with eyes downcast at Holly’s new shoes. They’re pink, plastic, and closely resemble those wildly trendy Crocs.

Apparently, the resemblance wasn’t close enough for Holly’s friend.

“Whoa,” I said reflexively. “They’re fine shoes. And really, what makes any shoe the right shoe or the wrong shoe?” Holly bit her lip. She’d made a major fashion faux-pax, and no amount of mommy-reframing was gonna save her.

But really, now, what gives? These girlswere six-year-olds. Six!

That night, before sleep, a tucked-in and teary Holly sniffed and asked if we could possibly go to the shoe store as soon as she woke up.

Oh my.

I scooted her over in her bed to make room for Mommy. For this conversation, I needed to be comfortable.

“You know something, Miss Holly? I’ve been thinking about the whole shoe she-nanigan.” My nonsense elicited a teeny-weeny smile from my daughter, so I continued. “Let’s think about this, shall we? She (a cutie-pie who is forgiven but shall remain nameless) spent twenty-nine dollars plus tax on her shoes, and you spent nine. So who’s the smarty pants now?”

Yeah, baby. Big smile from Holly. Encouraged, I embarked on a terribly erudite philosophical discussion about consumer trends, perceived value and just how much fun it can be to think critically about fads and to just Payless (I don’t know if they sell Croc wannabe’s, but I couldn’t resist the wordplay).

We’re talking plastic, people. I’m a bargain hunter at my core, and plastic shoes, well, the buck stops here. Come to think of it, buying all of those plastic shoes just unduly supports the petroleum industry anyhow. Not so environmentally friendly. I’m not knockin’ plastics altogether, mind you. We’ve benefited greatly from plastics used inthe Medical field(catheters, IV’s, etc.), just for starters, but think about it. What will archeologists say about us in two-hundred years when they unearth all of our colorful, clownish crocs in croc-choked landfills? Will they scratch their heads and wonder – not just about our peculiar fashion sense – but about how we let down our polar bear brothers by picking up so many crocs on our shopping sprees? Maybe Holly and I will rethink our shoe buying habits altogether. Become more discerning and all that.

(But do I have to give up my Teva’s?)

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