I used to be horrible and now I am just bad.
I have to be connected somehow, in some way, to the outside world. E-mail. Text. Facebook. Twitter. When I started my job at Chicago Parent in January 2005 as an area sales manager, I purchased my first BlackBerry. It was a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I could sit anywhere and get my e-mails. A curse because I could sit anywhere and get my e-mails. Before long, texting came into my world, as did Facebook.
I felt the need to be reachable when I was selling advertising. Someone always needed me and it was important for me to be able to connect instantly with potential clients. But, right now, I am not selling advertising. I am home with my kids. And, truthfully, there’s really not that much sense of urgency in needing to check in.
But I am addicted.
I AM trying to be better. I’ve started leaving my phone in the car when I go to the store. When I exercise, the phone goes in the locker for an hour. When I am at either of my kids’ schools, the phone is turned off. And, at playgroup last week, the phone stayed in my purse — well, for the first hour anyway. Then, I got a little antsy.
Today I had lunch with my former colleagues. It was great. I was engaged in five different conversations, but I still “needed” to check my phone, making sure I wasn’t needed, making sure I wasn’t missing anything. My colleagues mentioned it. In their minds, my phone obsession was impolite, which I can understand. But, in my mind, it would just by my luck if I didn’t check the phone that there would be an emergency — or that I would be needed. I am an addict. Really.
It’s also bad because I am easily found. Sometimes that’s a good thing — and sometimes, I just need some space from it all. I literally feel like my head is going to explode. But, I guess one would say that it’s my fault. I’ve let myself become “this way.” Or, am I just like everyone else?
So, now what?
Do I pretend that I can’t get on Facebook in the middle of the day if I want while waiting at my daughter’s dance class? Avoid texting the people I text daily? Do I make more rules? Or do I just say it is what it is, I am who I am?
Sound familiar? I’d love to hear how you handle your tech “addiction.”
