Teachable moments at Lollapalooza

For those braving out the mainstages rather than the PG-rated Kidzapalooza, you’re bound to field a few questions that, well, you’d rather not, amid the all-out insanity Lolla promises and usually delivers. We thought we’d try to anticipate some of the best, and point out a few teachable moments amid the madness.

“Mommy, what’s a pornographer?” A.C. Newman and his band of ridiculously talented bandmates take the stage Friday at 4 p.m. While nothing about The New Pornographers’ music is actually pornographic — instead, its a distinct brand of indie power-pop that we think you’ll love — their name provides an excellent, if unprompted, chance to teach your children about the beauty of the First Amendment. Just because Lady Gaga does it, doesn’t mean you can do it. This weekend is the perfect opportunity to draw for your child the first of many distinctions between her and a worldwide fabulous-if-slightly-off-her-rocker megastar. From bubble costumes to fake Spanish accents to statements that she’d rather faint of heatstroke than take off her leather, there are a lot of things Lady Gaga does that just aren’t okay for the rest of us. It’s not fair, but it’s a lesson she’s better learning now than later. Why multiple, visible tattoos are a decision that should be made carefully – and sober. No better place than a rockfest to point out the decades-later results of poor tattoo decision-making. And for a hands-on application, take your kids over to the temporary tattoo tent over at the Kidzapalooza stage.

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