Diary of a summer break(down)

Day 1

I am so excited about having the summer to spend with the boys! We went to the library today and checked out dozens of books from the CPS summer reading list. The library gave us a chart to record everything, and they promised special rewards once the kids hit certain targets. How imaginative! I can’t wait to go back next week!

Day 6

The boys began summer camp today, and I happily unveiled the awesome new beach towels for pool days. I am looking forward to the cool crafts they will be bringing home-little gifts to be loved and treasured forever. I love summer!

Day 10

We had a fantastic picnic at the park today and played some tennis. If it wasn’t for the flat tire Joey got on his bike, things would have been perfect.

Day 12

I am not sure exactly how all three boys can forget their beach towels at camp, but when I visited the Lost & Found, the only towels left were relics from the Reagan administration.

I suppose I should just rejoice in the trip down memory lane, no?

Day 16

Tie-dye shirts exist only because the hippies who invented them lived at home and didn’t care about staining their parents’ carpeting. My minivan is a drippy mess.

This wasn’t the kind of craft I was hoping for when I signed up at the Chicago Park District. All I ever wanted was my own macaroni necklace and Popsicle stick jewelry box.

Day 23

That is it. I am not sending these children to camp with another freaking towel. They can drip-dry like I did.

Day 35

I just received a library notice that the books we checked out last month are grossly overdue and I owe serious cash. Too bad our disposable income went towards towels and minivan detailing.

Day 55

Joe is home from work this week and insisted we go to the beach. As I packed up the car, my husband grumbled about the disappearing towels. I handed him the He-Man one I stole from the park district. Next up? I packed my flask.

Day 63

The washing machine and dryer are officially dead courtesy of the sand and rocks brought home in the boys’ pockets from the beach. The library sent their fifth overdue notice. Joe also left his He-Man towel at the dunes. RumChata was on sale this week, so I bought five.

Day 75

Camp is over. We lost the CPS summer reading list. Laundromats are scary and I’m completely out of quarters.

Day 82

Are you there, God? It’s me, Marianne.

Day 88

I think the library is having me followed.

Day 93

Tell me about the rabbits, George.

Day ????

Summer break is almost over. I know this because I have received 55 robocalls from CPS, assorted Chicago sports heroes, and even the mayor advising me of this fact. It makes me wonder how much confidence the world has in my ability to actually handle things. No matter. I’m off to make microwave popcorn for dinner and try to locate that all-important summer reading list one last time.

Because I’m just that awesome.

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