Chicago mom thinks autumn sucks

Short days? Check.

Dreary skies? Look up.

Inexplicable exhaustion, atmospheric headaches, and general misery? See: Marianne.

Welcome, autumn!

I know, I know. There are lots of folks out there who adore the whole foliage thing. Football weather. Huxtable sweaters. Nature walks.

Yada yada yada.

I am so not one of you.

Summer is my bitch.

One of the biggest problems I have with the change of season is an instant withdrawal from the outside world. I seek a warm cocoon, a quiet place, and a vat of chili. Hibernation at its finest.

Come to think of it, I may be a grizzly bear.

Sadly, many people become cold weather insomniacs this time of year. I start worrying about everything from the debt crisis to who will win “Survivor.” Gone is the warm-weather ability to shrug off the bad stuff. Instead? I obsess.

And obsess.

And obsess.

Which leads me to this week. Having given up on sleep, I decided to rearrange my entire house, organize the pantry, and vacuum under the couch cushions. At 2 a.m. Things were going along swimmingly until the vacuum part. Popcorn and Rainbow Loom rubber bands were not getting sucked up. Frustrated at having broken another vacuum in under a year, I wandered over to Amazon.

Eff it. I deserved a Dyson.

But who knew these things cost like $600?

Not I.

That’s when I discovered this whole “refurbished” concept. Seemed like a crapshoot. Meh. For $250, maybe a refurbished Dyson would last longer than my suckity-suck-suck-no-suck Hoover.

I’ll know in five to seven business days.

But if one more Rainbow Loom rubber band lands on the floor before then, I’m retiring to my bed. Until July.

Just let me know who wins “Survivor,” won’t you?

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