Being honest about the baby weight

I, like many women, have had a tumultuous relationship with my body and how I see it. I struggled for years in my youth with body image issues, and abusing my body through starvation and over exercising. I look back at some of those pictures of me now with the gangly arms and legs and the sunken eyes-I looked like a bobble head.

Being a mother is hard on the body. You start by growing another human, inside you. I think I gained almost 50 pounds with my first and I had to stop looking at the scale. It took a few years but after my first two I was able to get back to a healthy and comfortable weight. I fit into my favorite jeans again and while I was not as skinny as I once was, I was happy in my body.

The last four years have left me in a body I don’t recognize. I don’t notice it in my everyday, other than when I am trying to get dressed. Stuck in that in-between stage of maternity clothes being too big and my regular clothes being too small. I go through the busyness of the everyday and only occasionally notice the extra roundness here, the extra curve there. Then I see a photograph, I ‘m trying to be in them more afterall, and I don’t know who that it. It’s someone else, a family member who was always larger. It’s not me. Except it is.

Four pregnancies in four years. Two miscarriages. Depression. Anxiety. It manifests itself in bad habits and extra pounds. I realize now with each passing day that my baby days are numbered. Everytime I pick him up he feels bigger. He does new things every day. Soon (well actually, four years, but it will go by fast) I will have all my kids in school for some amount of time in a day and then what? Who will I see staring back at me?

I once wrote that you {me} had to love yourself enough to take time for yourself. I write about it often actually and it sounds really good on paper, but I have four kids, some work, a house to clean, volunteer obligations and the list goes on. After I did the mud run I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time, powerful, strong, accomplished. I had found me way down deep at the bottom of the to do list and I missed her.

It took a few weeks but on Saturday I said enough, I’m going to do this. I have taken a run everyday since Saturday. I’m doing the Couch to 5K training program and I am loving it. I feel so much better mentally and physically and in turn I am being a better wife and mother.

It started with just deciding I had to do it. It wasn’t ideal, it was Saturday morning and it was hot. It wasn’t perfect. I was slow, and so out of shape. There was so many other things to do! But it starts with one step, and I took that one step, and another followed and another.

I want my kids to see that I don’t only love them fully and completely but that I love myself too. That starts with taking care of me, one step at a time.

- Advertisement -

LATEST STORIES

Best Things to Do with Kids in Chicagoland This February

Plan ahead! We've rounded up some of the best activities and events to do with kids in Chicago and suburbs this month.

Creative Ideas for a Magical First Tooth Fairy Experience

When your child loses their first tooth, here's how to make the experience a special memory for them.

Watch This, Do That: Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

Watch the hero cat’s latest adventure in this animated film by DreamWorks.

Your Overnight Camp Survival Kit

Here are some extras to consider for overnight campers.


- Advertisement -