It’s not what you say….

Parents are always searching for the perfect words, often in an attempt to really connect with their children. While words can be helpful and soothing, real feeling is often expressed without words…

  1. Smile – Author Toni Morrison once told Oprah that all children really want to know is,do your eyes light up when I enter the room? Do you smile at your children in the morning? Do you smile at them when they are in swim class? Do you smile at them when they are doing nothing at all?
  2. Initiate a hug, for no reason – appreciation of the moment is easily expressed with a quiet hug out of the blue.
  3. Get down to their level – when they are excited to tell you something, get down to their level, make eye contact and listen intently.
  4. Stop what you are doing – when your children really want to talk, turn off your phone, close the computer, or stop cleaning. Demonstrate that there is nothing more important than what they are about to say.
  5. Grab their hand – most of the time we grab their hand for safety, but it feels good to hold hands just because. While talking or while watching a movie, it’s a quiet, instant connection.

Next time you can’t find the words, try a quiet, loving gesture… might be exactly what you, and they, are looking for.

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