A new report says that genital injuries related to toilet seats are on the rise, particularly amongst potty-training young males. You may have thought the bathroom was a safe place, but toilet seats are falling on the junk of the youth of America and children are bearing the weight of this terrifying epidemic! Won’t someone please think of the wee-wees? The White Dad Problems team investigates…
According to Reuter’s Health, between 2002 and 2010, 13, 175 genital injuries occurred to to toilets or toilet seats, 68 percent of which were CRUSH INJURIES. 97% of these injuries were to children seven years old or younger, and five were to adults who were either very short in stature or REALLY USING THE POTTY WRONG.
Matt and D.M. are fathers to girls, but Todd has toilet trained a boy and spells out how the injuries take place, comparing the toilet to a certain invention by one Monsieur Guillotine. The Dads search for solutions, from the institutional looking U-shaped seat, to the infuriating “slow close” seat, to their new invention, the White Dad Problems Penis Saver (patent pending).
Oh, and D.M. wants someone to invent a urinal you can poop in. We’re not sure why.
Enjoy this audio blog? Please subscribe to the full length show on iTunes! It’s free and you can leave the guys a message. You can also listen at whitedadproblems.com. (It’s not for kids, though, so listen in the car while they are inside the house wondering where you went.)