Phillies drive even littlest fans to drink, example #43918

I’ve had some moments where I was overwhelmingly proud to be a Philies fan. Like that time they won the World Series. And…that one time…that…Nope, that’s it.

The number of times I’ve dived behind the nearest couch, however, are far easier to count:booing Santa Claus, throwingbatteries at J.D. Drew, cheering an injured Michael Irvin, installing a court at Veterans Stadium to process unruly fans, intentionally vomiting on another fan and his 10-year-old daughter, and making repeated death threats at our own players.

Being a Phillies fan comes with a few things: a permanent crush on Darren Daulton circa 1990, a pessimism that’s hard to shake, and being saddled with the title of “Worst Fans in Professional Sports.” The upside is that we’repretty good at putting head-slapping moments in perspective when it comes to the Phils.

Which is why I’m able to laugh at the video blazing a trail of indignation through the sports and parenting worldssince it hit YouTube yesterday.

First of all, how smooth is that kid?! He’s drinking it like a beer, not like a bottle or a sippy cup. It’s how I imagine “The Most Interesting Man in the World,” the uber-suave spokesman for Dos Equis beer, as a 3-year-old.

Second, before everybody gets up in arms ( Radarreports that Child Protective Services is looking for the kid’s family), consider three things:

1) The bottle is likely empty. You can tell from the way he tips it too far back, then peers inside.

2) It’s Miller Lite. He’s basically drinking water.

3) The game was a doozy: Ten innings, and the Phils fell just short of a series sweep. At that point, they were also in the middle of a 4-9 stretch that included seven losses to NL East teams, and had scored three or fewer runs in 10 of their previous 11 games. The point being, when you’re watching your championship-caliber team drop two of their last three divisional series in the run-up to the All-Star Break, sometimes the backwash of a watered-down, lukewarm light beer is just the ticket.

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