Out with your kids for a Chicago neighborhood stroll? Wondering what that thing is that you don’t want them to touch? A primer of a few choice ‘hoods, in alphabetical order:
Albany Park: Half-chewed corncobs from leftover elotes, whole loaves of squirrel-bitten pitas, squirrels
Andersonville: Craft beer coaster, old artisanal dog biscuits, semi-reclaimed wood furniture
Bronzeville: Sawdust and asbestos (those pesky mansions), BBQ sauce containers, Northside disdain
Lincoln Park: Wayward geese, wayward geese droppings, gently used Bugaboo strollers
Logan Square: The Blue line
The Loop: Pigeon poop, H&M receipts, that guy done up in silver paint (because he probably doesn’t want to be touched)
Pilsen: A mushy bag of chicharrones, freecycled art, earnestly worn Keds
River North: Smashed iPhones from angry, starving tourists who did not properly plan ahead for reservations
Rogers Park: Dog-eared Salinger novels, dented bumpers, fake I.D.s
Roscoe Village: Gelato spoons, knockoff yoga pants, that cougar that one time
Wicker Park: Big Star taco wrappers, clove butts, cassette tapes
Wrigleyville: Post-game bodily fluids. Also “pre”. Also “during.”
Happy exploring!
