Make outs and music for the marrieds

I’ve decided I need to make out with my hubby more. He and I used to do that a lot; we’d spend hours kissing and enjoying sweet, sensual moments together that didn’t necessarily lead anywhere else.

Our make-out sessions continued for a little while after we got married. But then came a kid and two busy careers, and our pucker-up rate slowed down considerably. You can safely say that in the last few years, random acts of smooching have not been very high on our priority list.

Well, I’ve decided to change all that. I’m bringing make outs back to marriage.

Once I made the decision to re-enter the world of gratuitous kissing, I started thinking about what song would best fit the mood, whichinevitably led to me reminiscing about the make-out music that has marked my 25-year kissing career. Here’s a pre-smartphone snapshot of the smooches I’ve scattered along my memory lane.

1989 – “Patience” – Guns N Roses

My first high school boyfriend asked me out to this song. Recall, if you will, the whistling at the end. Gets me every time.

1991 – “She Moves in Mysterious Ways” – U2

High school boyfriend number #2 put this as the first song on a mix tape he made for me. How cool is that?

1995-1996 – ????? – Phish

College boyfriend. Can’t remember specifics.

1996 – “Friday I’m in Love” – The Cure

Sigh. How about we skip ahead a few years. No need to dwell in the past…

2001 – “When You’re Gone” – Sade

Yes, just kissing! (Although I hear you; this CD is hot, hot, hot.)

In 2002, I met my husband and the music and kisses in my life changed. Over the years, we’ve had the Miles Davis make-out phase, the Sarah McLachlan make-out phase, and even a Beyoncé phase. Then, a petering out. Not a whole lot of making out and music combos.

But now I’m back in action, lips fully med-exed and ready to go. It hasn’t taken me long to figure out which song is the winner of my More Making-Out Campaign. My choice is likely to surprise you.

2011 – “Someone Like You” – Adele

I know, it might seem a bit strange that what seems like a breakup song (and is probably a breakup song), is my pick for best kissing ballad. But I can’t help it. Every time I hear I hear this song, I want to slow dance with my hubby and smooch him till the cows come home. Here’s a section…

“… I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too. Don’t forget me, I beg, I remember you say: Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead…

Nothing compares, no worries or cares. Regret’s and mistakes they’re memories made. Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?”

“Someone Like You” reminds me of what marriage is all about. It’s not the over-simplified, wedding-as-the-finish line experience poorly depicted on my otherwise much-loved “Sex and the City.” As much as I adored that show when I was single, I couldn’t help but be disappointed when they often portrayed marriage as a dichotomy; The Trey: perfect on the outside, irreparably flawed on the inside or The Harry: physically compromising but sparkly and unblemished underneath.

This soulful song by Adele speaks to me because, as most of us marrieds know, there is heartache in marriage. Along with the joy, tenderness and life-long partnership we’d hoped for, we learn unexpectedly that marriage can also include loneliness, disappointment, frustration and sorrow. “Someone Like You” is a reminder that, even with the tough moments, there are still cherished memories to be made, a deep desire to do what’s best for the other person, and a love that may sometimes taste bittersweet but can still last forever.

Hence the kissing. Combined with this song, the kissing brings me right back to the present, when I re-discover that the “someone like you” is my husband, and has been all along, even when I’m pushing him away and letting all of the other “stuff” and people in our lives interfere.In those moments, the heartache melts away and what’s left can only be described as, well, even for a lover of words, this moment may just be indescribable.

What were your make-out songs? Do you have one? If not, what will yours be?

~By Wendy Widom, Partner, Families in the Loop

Here’s Adele performing “Someone Like You”

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