The lemonade stand

With motherhood often threatening to send me on a three-day bender, I once developed a warning list of sorts. Included on the list were items that resulted in my immediate reaching for the nearest 151 proof bottle. Catalysts include:

Anything sticky

Bees

Chaos

Poor spelling

Unfortunately, I live my life without much foresight. When my sons came to me yesterday, clamoring to conduct a lemonade stand, I agreed. Lemonade stands, for those unfamiliar, usually result in:

Sticky everything

Swarming bees

Unprecedented chaos

Atrocious spelling

Three hours later, my flip-flops were glued to the kitchen floor. The kids were drinking most of their profits and bees were dive-bombing my front lawn. Coolers, ice bags and sticky cups were strewn everywhere. Signage included:

My right eyeball began to twitch. My blood pressure soared. In an effort to maintain a semblance of calm in front of a sea of neighborhood moms, I self-medicated.

I purchased some generously poured Country Time and added a dash of that 151 proof. There are only a handful of people in the whole world who regularly get me to exit my comfort zone.

This crew definitely makes the list … poor spelling and all.

- Advertisement -

LATEST STORIES

Cruise Out to These Drive-In Movie Theaters in Chicagoland

Catch a movie on the big screen from the comfort of your car at these unique drive-in movie theaters around Chicagoland.

Medical Debt Could Vanish From Credit Reports. What to Do Now

Proposed rule could remove medical debt from credit reports, potentially boosting credit scores and easing loan access for millions.

13 North American Amusement Parks Growing The Most In Popularity

Explore the rise in popularity of North American amusement parks, with a look at the parks that saw the biggest visitor increases.


- Advertisement -