When leaving your house is a really bad idea

My ungodly fear of sinkholes has been usurped. How could anything terrify me more than getting swallowed up by Middle Earth, you ask? Look up. They are everywhere:

Killer icicles.

No matter where I go, no matter how hard I try to avoid them, these damn icicles are gunning for me. This one has been taunting me for days:

I would like to think that when one of these frozen daggers finally lands on my noggin, there will be people around to help. Yet with temperatures at Arctic levels, the only folks I have to rely on are these guys:

And they’ve got their own problems.

I am desperate for a season without peril, neurosis, or Charlie Brown buried up to his neck in snow.

Yeah, I’m looking at you, spring.

Call me.

- Advertisement -

LATEST STORIES

Ring in the Lunar New Year with Chicagoland’s Best Family Events

Celebrate Lunar New Year with these kid-friendly events in the city and surrounding suburbs.

3 Benefits of Projects and Play for Developing Kids’ Talents

Brought to you by Northwestern University Center for Talent Development

10 Best Things to Do with Kids in Naperville

Discover Naperville’s family fun! Enjoy the Riverwalk, kid-friendly dining, interactive museums and more in this vibrant suburb.

Where to Find Chicagoland’s Most Thrilling Sledding Hills

Discover the best sledding hills in Chicagoland for family winter fun, from thrilling slopes to kid-friendly spots perfect for all ages.
- Advertisement -


- Advertisement -