Being a new mom is great but sometimes you miss the woman you were before the baby. We spoke to a few experts on how to get your mind, body and soul back in their groove.
We spoke to a few experts on how to get your mind, body and soul back in their groove after baby.
You wouldn’t change a thing about being a mom (well, maybe it’dbe nice to sleep through the night), but you sometimes long for thewoman you were before your bundle of joy arrived.
So, we turned to a few experts.
Sassy tips to get your groove back
1 Hire a wardrobe stylist/personal
Your body has changed, but that should not discourage you fromdressing like the pre-baby you. She’s in there somewhere! Thebetter you feel in your clothes, the better wife and mom you willbe for your family. Hire a stylist who offers closet consultationsand will escort you shopping or shop on your behalf. Nothing feelsmore glamorous than showing up at your favorite shop’s dressingroom that’s filled with items hand-selected just for you! It’s notas expensive as you think. Many stylists offer maternity andpost-baby styling packages and will work within your budget.
- Chicago resource: Julie Watson Styling, juliewatsonstyle.com
2 Get Movin’
I know what you’re thinking, hitting the gym is at the bottom ofyour list. Not interested in the gym? Go for a walk with baby orfind a workout group like Active Moms Club. My only workout sourcefor almost four years was exercising at home with DVDs like TurboFire, Turbo Jam and Physique 57. Find an at-home program that isintense enough to increase your heart rate and incorporates weighttraining.
- Chicago Resource: activemomsclub.com
3 Hire a sitter
There is no better gift than giving yourself a break from baby,especially if you are a stay-at-home mom. Nothing creates burnoutquicker than 24-hour mommy duty. Hire a sitter so you can work out,shop, sleep, run errands, have girl time, go to the spa, etc. Don’tforget to budget for babysitter hours, even if you plan to leaveyour full-time job. Find the resources (friends, family, sitterservice, etc.), even if it’s only for an hour.
- Chicago Resource: K. Grace Childcare, kgracechildcare.net
4 Make Me Over
Chances are you frequently are missing showers, and applyingmakeup has become a luxury. Every woman should have her very ownmakeup artist. It’s easier than you think and it’s FREE. Goimmediately to your favorite department store, proceed to yourfavorite cosmetic counter and schedule an appointment with a beautystylist. If you love the results, then use their services for anyoccasion you want to feel sassy (girls night out, date night, galaevents, etc.). Most department store stylists will come to you fora small fee. Having your makeup applied professionally not onlyelevates your inner glam, but it gives you confidence knowingsomeone made sure you did not walk out the door with baby goo onyour face.
- Chicago resource: Laura Robenhorst, beauty stylist for SueDevitt at Barney’s
Alison Ray, founder of SassyMomsintheCity.com
Beat the two most common mom traps
1 I don’t have time for myself
It’s important to create time for yourself. Ask for help andaccept help when it is offered. It’s in the best interest of thebaby to make yourself a priority-if you can do a few things a dayfor yourself, life will feel less chaotic and you will have morepatience as a mother. Remember, your baby senses your energy, so ifyou are feeling chaotic and overwhelmed, your baby feels it,too.
2 I’m having an identity crisis
Becoming a mom is such a huge change, especially if you movefrom working full-time to staying home. After having a baby, youexperience growing pains-your time no longer is your own, you are anovice at this new job of mothering, and every aspect of your lifehas been altered. Just knowing that it’s normal to feel overwhelmedand unsure of yourself can be soothing.
Moms feel guilty when they struggle with the change-they feelthey aren’t maternal or that they are doing something wrong-butmothering takes adjustment, practice, and patience. The more youaccept this, the easier it will be.
Cathy CassaniAdams, author of The Self-Aware Parent and host of Zen
Two tips to find yourself again
1 Find five minutes for quiet and do
It can be in the morning or night when the baby is asleep, ornaptime during the day. Take five minutes to not be “on,” not dolaundry, not clean the house. Just sit for five minutes andbreathe. Release the stress, relax your body, and take in themoment.
The first couple months, even the first year, have so manychallenges, but they also have so many beautiful moments. If we arelost in the chaos, it is hard to appreciate what is happening.Taking five minutes a day for breathing and being present can makea big difference in how you perceive yourself and yourexperience.
2 Make time for the things youlove
Don’t forget about yourself as a person; you are a mom, but youalso are (fill in the blank with your name). Have a date with yourhusband, exercise, go on a walk with your friends, or go get coffeeby yourself. Even a trip alone to the grocery store can feel like awonderful escape. Let go of the martyrdom and realize that otherpeople can and want to support you. Being away for an hour or twois good for you-it’s an opportunity to recharge your battery so youare excited and ready to return to your baby.
Cathy CassaniAdams, author of The Self-Aware Parent and host of Zen
Three ways to get your bedroom groove back
If Stella can do it, so can you.
It might seem like the last thing on your mind or just one moreitem on your to-do list, but a healthy love life is just asimportant post-baby as it was before your little bundle of joyentered the picture. Why? Intimacy is one of the most criticalconnections you can have with your partner. It is a physicalaffirmation of all of your feelings of desire, admiration and lovewrapped up in one very pleasurable act.
Looking for ways to rekindle your boudoirbliss?
1 Try, try again
It might take multiple times for you to feel the spark againwith your spouse. Don’t give up! Even if the first time doesn’tknock your socks off, don’t obsess about the extra 20 minutes ofsleep that you could have. Remember that sex is not all about thephysical. Stay focused on the emotional connection you arereestablishing by letting yourself linger for a few minutes ofcuddling afterwards. That tender hug from your partner likely willshow up again outside of the bedroom when you need it most. And,trust me, all new moms can agree that while the first few times area bit different,? eventually it will start to feel more naturalagain and you will remember why you loved being a sex goddess inthe first place!
2 Bring sexy back
OK, you might not be ready to break out the lingerie quite yet,but there are some products that instantly will make you feel sexywith minimal effort. I love kissable dusting powder (it comes itlots of delicious flavors). Just a quick dusting to your shouldersand décolletage and suddenly your body will turn into a walkingaphrodisiac. Or, treat yourself to a new perfume. It’s ourbest-kept secret for masking the smell of breast milk and givingyour partner a quick reminder of how delicious and sensual youare.
3 Use a lube
After childbirth your hormones still are regulating and youmight feel some dryness, which is perfectly natural. A lube willmake sex so much easier and more enjoyable. Plus, there are a lotof fun? lubes on the market so you and your partner can add anelement of surprise as you experiment with different brands andtypes (flavored, water-based, silicone, etc). Remember, if you areusing a condom as birth control, make sure you do NOT use anoil-based lubricant.
Andee Harris, co-founder of Bedroom Chemist, an online
team ready to help break the boudoir boredom