I know many parents spend a lot of time at work and worry about losing quality time with their kids. I work at home and spend an atrocious number of hours trapped talking with my kids. For those of you stuck at work and missing your spawn, I offer you these excerpts from heart-meltingly memorable conversations with my kids:
Thursday, Feb. 11, 2010
(My son is on the back porch doing his homework, singing to himself.)
“That, that’s beautiful, son. Is it Latin?”
“Dora the Explorer, dork.”
Saturday, March 4, 2010
“DAD! DAD! DAD! OH MY GOD—DAAAAAAAAD!” my daughter sobs loudly.
I race into the bathroom where she’s staring into the toilet:
“I dropped my potato.”
Tuesday, Jan. 7, 2014
“Dad, you know when you told me to bother you only when it’s an emergency?”
I’ve been waiting for this. Staying calm, I kneel down, put a hand on his shoulder:
“What is it, son?”
“There’s no ketchup.”
Monday, May 20, 2013
I’m in the kitchen when my daughter calls me from her room. I know she’s been worrying about her friends and I’ve been waiting for her to beg for wisdom, to listen as I list the things she can and can’t expect from life. I take my time. I get my coffee ready. I walk into her room to see her legs sticking out from under her mattress.
“I’m stuck under the bed.”
I just wait there a minute, stirring my coffee and letting the wisdom vent out of my ears.
The girl snuggles up to me. She’d been up all night trying to catch a glimpse of the fat man. In a sleepy voice, she says quietly:
“Hey Dad, can I tell you something?”
I brace myself. I know this is one of those real truth moments where she says something meme worthy.
“I didn’t get anything I wanted.”
A Saturday morning in 2008
[My Attorney] and I are in flagrante delicto when the kid walks in.
“OH MY GOD, THAT’S SEX?”
He runs out, laughing.