Help needed for “the talk”

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Posted by Kim K.

I remember when my mom told me about where babies come from. I was around 5 or 6. She was very informative. It stuck with me. I still remember the conversation in small fragments and pieces. I don’t know if I asked or if she just felt as if it was time to tell. But, believe me, she told.

So now here I am about 30 years later faced with the recent question at dinner from my 6-year-old son. “How does the baby get in the mommy?” Pause. I look at my husband. He looks at me. Clearly he wasn’t taking the lead on this one. So, I said (remember I didn’t have much time to prepare here plus my 3 1/2 year old is also at the table and I just can’t even go there at this point considering her favorite funny word is “butt”) “Zachary, a baby get inside a mommy when a mommy and daddy love each other.” I felt like I was dishing out a load of garbage, like one of those Just For TV after-school specials, but I just couldn’t get into the technical answer. Not right at that moment. Not when I wasn’t prepared. Luckily, there weren’t any real follow-up questions. Had there been I would have deferred to my husband.

This is something my son has asked about before: Once when he was 4, once several months ago and again on Sunday night. He’s in first grade. I am thinking we better have a sit down before kid X with the 14-year-old brother/sister gives him his information, the kind of information that might be TMI!

Today, my husband met me for lunch. We don’t get to have lunch during the work week very often and had about 30 minutes. Of course I had to bring up the “sex talk” question. I think he would like to avoid it, not completely and forever, but I think he said something about “a few years.” I don’t know if that’s a good idea. So, then he came up with the idea of getting the book Where Do I Come From. I have to check out the book. As we prepared our son for his little sister 3 plus years ago, we read him a big brother book day after day so that when she finally arrived he would understand exactly what was happening. If I can read him a book that will help teach him about sex, I am hoping that when friend X starts talking about it, my son is prepared.

Anyone have some advice and tips? We did discuss this today at the office, but I am really wondering how parents of little boys (around age 6) have delivered the sex talk information. Which parent takes the lead? One colleague said “less is more” while another one said she just came out and told her daughter everything (like my mom did). But, I want to handle this one with kid gloves.

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