Chicago family views autism diagnosis as a chance to educate, pay-it-forward

Michele Doyle is a glass-half-full kind of mom. Husband Pete is a glass-half-empty kind of dad.

In their words

The one thing you would say to other parents with
children with special needs

Michele: It’s a long and hard road, but don’t
ever give up.

Pete: Don’t be ashamed of it. Seek out help
and talk to other men going through this. It’s something that some
men feel sometimes ashamed of or `Oh my God, it’s horrific, how am
I going to deal with this? How are my guy friends going to look at
me?’ My advice is to lean on other dads.

Best moment

Pete: It has opened my eyes to have so much
more compassion for all families that have special
needs.

Michele: You learn to appreciate the small
things in life. When you see progress, enjoy the moment when you
reach a goal. …We get excited about a lot of small
things.

Toughest moment

Pete: Hearing the diagnosis.

Michele: We try not to think about those. As
a mom, you have this idea of how you are going to raise your child
and the things you want them to excel at. …Then that realization
that your dreams you had for her are gone, but I don’t say that
anymore. I still have dreams, maybe they are adjusted, but they are
not adjusted too much.

But when it comes to their daughters Kiera, 9, and Caelan, 11, who was diagnosed with autism when she was 5, they have put their halves together to fight autism.

Six years ago, at a time when many people’s only frame of reference for autism still was “Rain Man,” the Doyles threw a party for family and friends to educate them about autism and raise money for other families trying to do the best they can with a disease that now affects 1 in 50 kids. They knew only too well about the looks parents with children with autism get and the struggle to pay for treatments.

By year three, that party, Rescue Our Angels, became the largest non-corporate fundraiser for Generation Rescue, of which Evergreen Park native and actress Jenny McCarthy is the president. This year, the sold-out party raised $200,000.

“We were like the little engine that could,” Pete says. “It was almost like a pay-it-forward. We’re going through our journey and our journey is going pretty good, but there are a lot of people who are struggling, so let’s try to raise some money and help people.”

He credits Michele with the success of the fundraiser and in their personal autism fight. They consider Caelan recovered.

Caelan was born three years after they married. “Everything was fine. We were trying to be the best parents we could be,”Michele says. Around 16 or 18 months, Caelan stopped talking. Though she started early intervention at 2, the family didn’t have a diagnosis. That came years later.

“I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason,” Pete says. “I think for us as a family, it certainly was devastating initially, but I think through the process and through the years, it has opened us up. One is the compassion for any type of child or any human being who has any type of special needs.”

Helping Caelan recover became a full-time job, even though both parents work full-time and are raising Kiera. They took away gluten and casein and the family now eats organic meats, fruits and vegetables. They also did chelation after tests showed Caelan’s body was full of metals.

“It’s been long and challenging and rewarding all together. For myself, it puts the world in a different perspective,” Michele says. “You look at life differently and you enjoy the little moments.”

To learn moreor to donate,visit rescueourangels.com.

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