Listen up, boys! Dads everywhere are beingcalled upon to get more involved in their kids’ school day.
National PTA, a nationwide parents group, announced its “Million Hours of Power” initiative this week, basically tsk-tsking some 350,000 American men into pledging three hours of service this school year.
Dads can log their hours online atrefresheverything.com/millionhoursofpower.
The initiative is a little skimpy on details, though, and I think we can all agree we don’t want most dads within a football field of our bake sale preparations. No worries. There are plenty of things dads are good at that are sorely needed at most schools:
- Achieving maximal classroom space efficiency. My dad could pack a car trunk, a dishwasher, or a garage shelf like it was nobody’s business. It actually became a game for him. Any normal person would say “The dishwasher’s full. We’ll just run another load later.” But my dad would swoop in, empty the thing, and reload it with the painstaking precision of a NASA engineer. That messy corner of building blocks in your preschooler’s classroom doesn’t stand a chance.
- Team manager. Ask a guy when his anniversary is and chances are it’ll take him a second. Ask him Cliff Lee’s road ERA against left-handed hitters and you’ll get an answer faster than you can say “swing, batter.” Wouldn’t those skills be better put to use at the middle school softballgames? “Coach, Jessica is only hitting .213 against righties in Wednesday games. I think this is a pinch-hitter situation.” These same skills apply at recess kickball games.
- Budget meeting smackdown. Instead of having the superintendent explain why the _______ department can’t get new ______s, just have a rotating board of dads saying “What, you think I’m made of money?”
- Pointing out character-building moments during the school day. This comes in especially handy during dodgeball. After all, it’s a tough world out there and the sooner kids learn that, the better.
- Groundskeeping. Ask my dad any Saturday what he’s up to, and he’ll say, “Oh you know, yardwork.” Dads seem to have more fun weeding, pruning, edging, planting and chasing the squirrels away than anyone who’s that close to throwing out his back really should.
Dads out there, any of this sound like fun? Ladies, what’s your man’s special skill? Comment below!