In the office where I work, every first of the month, a spreadsheet is emailed company-wide that names everyone who has a birthday that month. This year, I made the executive decision to email the coordinator of said spreadsheet with the following request “March: Puh-lease remove my name.” (She obliged.)
Though my birthday is in March, I refuse to publicly acknowledge the exact date. Not because I have hangups about getting older. It’s more that I don’t love the attention, which, for the most part, is a thousand percent obligatory. And if there’s one thing I enjoy less than lots of attention, it’s lots of attention from people who feel they have to pay me attention for a day.
Anyways, I digress. What I really wanted to talk about is how much planning we as parents do for our kids’ birthdays. We send out the Evites. We pay loads of money to rent time at a venue. We race around the day of the party. We try to make sure everyone’s having fun. We deal with children hopped on up pizza and cake. And we come home with a trunk full of gifts that chances are, our kids will never glance at again.
Well, with my birthday month a mere three days away, I’m here to tell you: it’s our turn! Here are four ways on the North Shore to celebrate a March birthday in grown-up style. (Or just four ways to have some unbirthday fun.)
Hunks the Show Male Revue
Welp, my friend roped me into this, so, there’s that. I can’t keep a straight face while writing the rest of this description, which should include the fact that the show will feature men in uniform (think firemen, army boys, cowboys and the like) performing choreography and making women blush while they’re drinking (perhaps heavily to cope with the awkwardness of it all). Join me?
When: 8 p.m. Saturday, March 22
Where: Petergof Nightclub, 577 Waukegan Rd., Northbrook
Cost: $15 a person
P!nk and Lorde
If you’re a pop music junkie queen extraordinaire like me, first, I’d like to challenge for the title. Second, I’d like you to come to not one, but two shows that I’m über düber excited for: P!nk and Lorde. (Not together in the same show. Thank heaven. I’d die.) An early 2000s pop music girl at heart, I’ve never seen P!nk live and kind of can’t wait. As for Lorde (my all-time favorite current pop artist), I went to see her at Lollapalooza this past summer. You know, the night Lollapalooza got rained out in a massive storm after she’d performed just two songs. (If you’re wondering whether I cried, I did.)
P!nk
When: 8 p.m. Friday, March 9 and Saturday, March 10
Where: United Center, 1901 W. Madison St., Chicago
Lorde
When: 7 p.m. Tuesday, March 27
Where: Allstate Arena, 6920 Mannheim Rd., Rosemont
Mini Chocolate Soufflé Cake from Yard House
When you’re finished snickering that this actually made my list, I implore you to schedule a day to go sample it, because oh-em-gee. First of all, it’s the perfect size — I’m not really into giant desserts that leave you vaguely nauseous. When you slice this one open, a river of hot, melty chocolate flows out, quite compatible with the vanilla bean ice cream next to it. If they know it’s your birthday, Yard House staff will dust “Happy Birthday” in powdered sugar on the plate. By the way, the whole shebang is just $3.95.
Where: 1880 Tower Dr., Glenview
Smart People at Writers Theatre
This post began with a male revue and shall end with a thought-provoking play. In it, four young urban professionals intertwine in a web of social, racial and gender politics, questioning both current and ingrained cultural attitudes about racism and other social dynamics.
When: March 21 through June 18
Where: Writers Theatre, 325 Tudor Court, Glencoe
