Just being me: Chicago mom rediscovers herself

What happens when your kids, who you are used to seeing every single day, with the exception of the “every other weekend” rule, are suddenly gone for 2-3 weeks in the summer for vacation time with the other parent?

Cry.

Yes. I cry. A lot.

This is my fourth year with a “Mommy Vacation” – those holidays or vacation times where my girls are with their dad for an extended period of time. There is usually not a phone call or FaceTime every day but maybe every other day. My girls are busy with their cousins and family out east and have a wonderful vacation.

I’m fine for the first few days because I can pretend it’s just like a normal weekend. But by day four, I’m wandering aimlessly around the house, finding excuses to go in to their rooms and rearrange the clothes in their dressers or flip through their baby books. I’m a sad sack of potatoes – moping around the house, in bed with junk food, binging on it and horrible television.

The fact that it’s the vacation that we used to take as a family every year makes it bite just a little harder.

This year my kids will be gone for 19 days. NINETEEN DAYS. Actually, given my attendance at BlogHer14 in San Jose, CA in a few weeks, I’ll only see my girls for two out of the next 29 days.

Oh. My. Gosh.

Once the initial moping phase has passed, around day six or seven, I usually find myself starting to remember what it was like to be a “single person” again. Someone that could have a social life after 4 p.m., Monday through Thursday, without having to weigh the cost of a babysitter (that’s IF I could find one) into whether it was worth it for me to leave the house. I could read a book. Take a bath. NOT WAKE UP TO AN ALARM AN HOUR BEFORE MY KIDS JUST SO I COULD GET A SHOWER. Eat cereal or Wavy Lays for dinner.

I could be just me again, even for a little while.

So while I miss my girls terribly, I will try to remember that it’s okay for me to be ME for just a little while. Maybe I’ll even enjoy myself.

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