Chicago mom: What to say when baby just isn’t cute

No one wants to say it out loud, but we all know it: Not all babies are beautiful, especially in those early weeks. Some look like aliens. Or John Malkovitch. Or cross-eyed hamsters. My mom called my second son Benjamin Button for the first month of his life because he, admittedly, had a little old man look about him. (Fortunately, that sorted itself out by week six.) So what do you do when your friend’s new progeny has a face for radio?

I can tell you from experience that saying, “Oh, that cone head will resolve soon enough,” does not go over great. That famous “Seinfeld” episode suggested using the word “breathtaking,” but here’s a list of other suggestions, just in case. (Note: If you hear some of these applied to your child, don’t get too suspicious. Your baby is beautiful. Everybody thinks so . . .)

Here’s a list of 10 suggestions that skirt outright lying:

1.) What a cute outfit!

2.) Ohhhh . . . look at him!

3.) Look how cute her little hands are!

4.) Well, isn’t he sweet.

5.) Look at all that hair!

6.) What a happy baby.

7.) She looks just like you!

8.) What a cute little smile!

9.) Look how blue/brown/green those eyes are!

10.) There are babies, and then there’s YOUR baby.

Have another go-to phrase of your own? Share it in the comments.

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