What parent hasn’t experienced episodes of irritability and tearfulness in their child? Especially when they are young, children can’t always tell us what they are feeling or when they are tired or hungry. This means we have to work to figure out the root cause. Sometimes the reason is clear and easily remedied. Other times, however, a child is actually experiencing depression.
We often talk about depression as something only teens and adults experience, but kids from birth to age 8 can be depressed — and their symptoms are unique to their age group, says Sara Anderson-Phou, licensed clinical social worker and Director of the Center for Children and Families (CCF) at the Erikson Institute.
“What young children who are experiencing depression show through their behavior isn’t always a clear sadness,” Anderson-Phou explains.
Unlike adults who typically function independently, young children function in tandem with their caregivers. It makes sense that their sadness often shows up as irritability, tantrums, whining and the many other ways children outwardly express their feelings. Young children need their parents’ help to regulate these uncomfortable emotions.
CCF’s experienced therapists understand childhood depression and provide a unique, effective approach to support the child and their parents or caregivers. Through a relationship-based approach, families learn more about each other and move forward with new ways of connecting. The result is healthier relationships within the family.
How a relationship-based approach works
When one family of a 6-year-old boy noticed that he was withdrawn and irritable at home, and learned that he displayed the same behavior at school, they connected with CCF. When their son was evaluated by the professionals at CCF, the parents learned that he was experiencing childhood depression.
While initially confused by the diagnosis, the parents remained hopeful that their son could respond to treatment that was sensitive to his needs and the needs of the parent-child relationship.
“At CCF, we work with children and their caregivers, within the family system. These are the most important relationships and the most important people in the child’s life and so they can have the biggest impact,” Anderson-Phou says. Supporting the parents so they can support their child is central to a positive outcome, she says.
During the course of treatment, the family typically engages in play therapy in an environment that is free of distractions and other commitments. As the child engages in the play-centered environment, the parents have uninterrupted time to learn more about their child’s needs. And, they are supported by an experienced professional as they learn how to best respond to those needs.
“As the parent-child interactions progress, the supporting therapist gradually takes a backseat,” says Anderson-Phou.
Through this experience, parents gain insight and confidence. Their relationship with their child is strengthened because they learn to overcome current challenges and weather future challenges. This is empowering for the whole family.
Treating childhood depression benefits the whole family
Often during their child’s therapy, parents reflect on their own experiences, which can be therapeutic, Anderson-Phou says.
“Parents might express a desire to have had their own mental issues addressed earlier in life,” she says. “They might say that with this help they would have been in a different place in their life.”
Therapists at CCF help families recognize that while they are growing, children need to know they have someone to turn to, even if our society prizes independence, sometimes from a very young age.
“We all grow up relying on our relationships with others and we develop partnerships because we want to be in trusting relationships, so it makes sense that children would have this same need,” Anderson-Phou says. “If we, as parents, are responsive to our children in the early childhood setting, we are creating building blocks for their development.”
Parents often struggle with seeing their children have strong feelings and they may even want to override their child’s responses. But when they can stop and ask themselves what their child is feeling right now and what they think their child needs, they recognize that it’s OK for their child to have strong feelings — and that they can even help them learn to regulate so they can get through the challenging time together, says Anderson-Phou.
And this is what a relationship-based approach to child mental health is all about. Whether the child is experiencing depression, anxiety, trauma or the family is struggling with parent-child relationship problems, the experts at CCF can help.
“All parents want the best for their children,” she says. “Many parents tell us that when they know better, they can do better. And we are here to help them achieve that goal.”
The Center for Children and Families at Erikson Institute has locations in Chicago’s River North and Little Village neighborhoods, as well as Oak Park and offers services in English and Spanish. Learn more at erikson.edu.
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