Despite all of her business successes, Monica Royer says it wasn’t until her daughter was born 13 years ago that she started to have a clearer vision of her purpose.
“Suddenly you think, oh, my gosh, everything that you do is suddenly centered around wanting to make things better for them (kids,) wanting to be able to share things with them, whether it be experiences or education or whatever those things are,” says Royer, the founder of Monica + Andy, the popular baby clothing and essentials brand that helped her build a community for parents that celebrates different parenting journeys without judgment.
Setting and keeping boundaries is tougher when parents compare themselves on social media, she says.
“… You’re seeing everybody’s life unfold there and it looks so great. So if it makes anybody feel better as they’re reading this, my home can sometimes be a complete disaster. I get to the breaking point and lose my temper on things. We’re all just human, and I think realizing our own limitations and being able to center ourselves around those is really important because there’s so many expectations for us as moms in society.”
The only thing that matters is that your child is happy, she says.
“As a mom, I also try really not to judge what other people are doing and realize that everybody’s kind of on their own journey with parenthood. How can we help each other rather than tearing each other down?”
She spent some time recently talking about motherhood.
Real Life: Monica Royer
What advice would you offer other moms to find their purpose?
“I think sometimes finding your purpose isn’t because you made a list and figured out how to define it. Part of it is, just go out and have experiences and maybe your purpose will find you.”
It’s important to remember it’s not a race to the finish line, she says. Do what feels important to you, she adds.
How do you juggle it all?
She says her little secret: She doesn’t. “I think in life, maybe there’s an opportunity to have it all, but in my experience, it’s hard to have it all at once. So I think that with the job that I’ve chosen and with the journey that I’ve chosen, I think there’s a give and take to how much I can do at the same time.”
She’s made peace with putting some things on the back burner. “For now, I want to invest in my team and the relationships there and my family. So I think realizing that it’s OK to not be able to juggle everything and just say, ‘these are the things that I’m going to choose to do that make me happy.’”
Motherhood didn’t come easily to you. What was the biggest lesson you took away from trying to become a mom?
After having her daughter, she had three miscarriages. She says she always pictured herself with two children since she’s so close to her own brother. “I realized I’m really grateful for having her and I’m kind of more at peace with it than I was before,” she says.
But her biggest lesson is that parenting isn’t an easy journey for anyone and the hard moments are not the same for every parent.
You’ve expanded the vision for Monica + Andy. What do you think it represents?
When she started it, she says it was about the clothes. She wanted her newborn at the time to have organic, soft clothes made in the best factories. “But at the same time, I was on a journey as a new mom and all of a sudden, I realized, wow, there’s so much loneliness in these early stages of parenthood. We’re so isolated.”
The idea of creating a supportive community unfolded and thrived.
Monica + Andy now has its clothes available in Walmart, as M A by Monica + Andy, a move to bring the organic-first lifestyle at everyday low prices to parents across the country. This year she’ll be focusing on more investments in parenting.
Fast Talk with Monica Royer
Your favorite item at Monica + Andy:
“I’m going to go with something for mom: our organic waffle knit lounge robe. I love it because as moms, we’re always doing things for our kids. I like the idea that it’s for mom. … It’s just so cozy and comfortable.”
Your go-to coffee order:
Starbucks iced soy latte.
Your favorite place to eat out with your family:
“My favorite new place in Chicago is a place called PLANTA (413 N. Clark St.) We’re plant-based for the most part and it is this incredible new restaurant. We also love Little Goat Diner (3325 N. Southport Ave., Chicago.) I love Stephanie Izard. I think her restaurants are incredible.”
Your mantra:
“Usually this is what I tell myself, ‘I chose to do this.’ I feel like I constantly have to recenter myself to think, ‘Oh, my gosh, it’s so busy and there’s XYZ going on.’ And then I have to tell myself, ‘I chose this life. I don’t have to do all of this. I want to do all this.’”
The job you’d want if you had to do it all over again:
“If I had no fears, I would like to be a marine biologist. It was something I even wanted to do as a kid. I don’t know that I literally would have done it, but there’s something about nature and the water.”
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