I meet with too many moms who come to me after kids feeling the same way: Burned out, exhausted, no time for themselves, and ultimately when it comes down to it, they feel like they lost who they are after kids and just want to feel like themselves again. Modern day motherhood has us going in too many directions and often with the pressure of doing it all flawlessly while looking great.
It is OK if sometimes you just want to remember who you were before kids. Here are four tips to help:
Get out of your comfort zone
You know that thing you have always wanted to do but are afraid to do? Do it! Whether it’s a hip-hop class, a therapist, a workout class, or even skydiving, pushing yourself to do something out of your comfort zone is the best way to find yourself. Part of finding yourself after becoming a mom is rediscovering who you grew into after kids verses trying to find who you used to be.
Finding time for yourself isn’t about “finding time” at all actually, it’s about prioritizing where we are putting our energy instead. How often are we giving our energy away to people who may be taking advantage of it? What are we saying yes to that we really want to say no to, but aren’t out of guilt? Are you feeling selfish for wanting time for yourself?
The most important part of prioritizing our energy is first navigating why we are putting energy into things that aren’t serving us and set boundaries. Putting energy into things that don’t give a return can leave us overwhelmed and mentally tapped out. Instead, when we prioritize where our energy goes — and make sure that we are one of those priorities — we can begin to show up not only for ourselves but also as a more present mom, partner and friend. Put the guilt away; a mama who is unapologetically living her truth shows her kids to do the same!
Choose habits that make you feel good
When we feel our best we can show up as our best and this also means feeling like yourself. What habits do you currently have that aren’t making you feel good? Staying up late to binge Netflix? Too much caffeine? Not enough water? Choose one habit to focus on each week and when you feel good, add another habit in. Try choosing foods that make you feel good 80% of the time.
Hire a coach
Coaches are a great investment to help you get an outside perspective on where you are feeling stuck and can help guide you in ways to make your goals attainable. My best advice: Think of the areas you need the most support and hire someone who is an expert in that area. Rather than feel mom guilt spending money on yourself, consider it an investment in yourself.
Pro Tip: Freeing yourself and showing up as your best self is you also freeing those around you to do the same. Ditch the idea that motherhood means self-sacrifice. You deserve to feel like yourself and feel your best in motherhood!
Handpicked by Brooke Rozzie
Handpicked is a section in our bi-monthly magazine where we feature local and influential parents, and ask them to share bits of fun, inspiration and cool finds for you. Know someone that would love to contribute? Email us at email@example.com.
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