1. Sleep. Through. The. Night. Pleeease!
2. Don’t embarrass us in front of the neighbor by asking if there is a baby in our 6-month post-baby belly while simultaneously lifting up our shirt. We had a big lunch!
3. Don’t refuse to eat all night and then throw a crying fit while dramatically screaming how starving you are the minute we announce it’s bedtime.
4. Let us hug you just a little bit longer without rolling your eyes.
5. You know the make-believe name you like to call yourself sometimes? Forget it when the TSA agent at the airport asks you your name. Unless you want to see Mommy and Daddy arrested.
6. Don’t tell the pediatrician that your favorite foods are Pop Tarts and Chipotle. *face palm*
7. Don’t wipe your boogers on us. Seriously, just don’t.
8. Don’t blame your farts on Daddy.
9. Stop licking things!
10. Know that we love you and we’re doing the best we can.