Giving your kids the big talk isn’t easy. At least we can get a good laugh out of it, too. Thanks to the moms of MamaTribe for sharing these hilarious stories!
My 6-year-old daughter asked us casually at dinner one night if we were going to have another baby. We said that might be a possibility. Her: Can I watch it being made?! I’m super interested in this! —Ann R.
My 6-year-old asked while in the shower, “Mommy, what’s commando?” She had heard my SO say it and I am so glad I was in the front room or she would have seen my face go red! —Angelique V.
A girl I used to babysit asked her other sitter if there was a baby in her belly, and when told no, helpfully offered, “My dad can put one in there if you want.” —Megan B.
This convo was between my daughter and me when I was about 25 weeks pregnant with her baby sister.
3yo: Mama, where do babies come out of?
Me: They come out of mommy’s belly. (Patting myself on the back because I’ve dodged a bullet.)
3yo: No, I mean, HOW do they get OUT of your belly?
Me: …Well, some mommies have to have a little cut in their belly and the baby comes out of mommy’s belly AND the other way is that babies come out between the mommy’s legs.
3yo: EEEEEEWWWW! They come out of your VAGINA?!!
Fast forward three days and my friend tells me this story about a conversation my daughter had with her son at a playdate.
3yo: My mom is going to have a baby soon. Do you know where the babies come out of?
Friend: No. Do you?
3yo: Yep! They come out of vaginas.
Friend: You gotta be kidding me, you’re telling me babies come from CHINA?!!! —Alexis L.
I had the talk with my 9-year-old, and it was clearly on her mind over the next few days. We were at lunch and she says (incredibly loudly), “So, when was the last time you guys had sex?” —Victoria H.
4-year-old son: Mama, where is your penis? Did you break it and lose it?
7-year-old son: She doesn’t have a penis! She is a girl! She has a V-Jenny! Ugh! You don’t know anything! And I died. —Enna E.
I told my daughter the truth about where babies come from when she was 8. Predictably, she looked horrified and said, “Wait. You and daddy did THAT?!” My response, “Yeah. Well, at least twice…” —Beth C-D.
At age 7, sooo many questions. Mostly, “But what does the man have to do with it?” We finally got a book from the library to explain things. The next morning, in complete seriousness, she handed me this picture she had drawn.
I had to keep a straight face and tell her it was a very nice drawing. —Sue Z.