Christopher Garlington

Christopher Garlington
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Latest Stories

Fatherhood and the Pinewood Derby

Christopher Garlington on the lessons he has learned building cars for his, er, his son's pinebox derby.

The kid is home alone

Christopher Garlington experiences the terror of leaving his boy home alone for the first time.

My last birthday party as supervisor

As every parent knows, except Christopher Garlington, unattended boys and Silly String makes a dangerous combination.

The things we do for love

I'd like to set the record straight: I am a large, hairy, tattooed man with a dadface that can level small import cars...

Parenting by text

Christopher Garlington reflects on how his life has gotten quieter since his family started texting all of their conversations.

Funny Dad | Raised by Google

Google is cheating one Chicago dad out of the usual father-son rites of passage. Except one.

Funny Dad | Son afflicted by acute vegetarianism

When my son told me he was a vegetarian, I was standing in the kitchen in an apron that read "Kill it/Grill it," cradling a pork shoulder I had slow-roasted for 12 hours. I told him he was in the wrong house.

Chicago dad takes aim at training his dogs – and kids

The secret to well-trained children? An $800 squirt bottle meant for dogs. Just ask my kids.

Why can’t my family just watch TV?

My family are pause-aholics. There is no cure. They turn a 30-second commercial into a 10-hour miniseries. I swear to God if they hit pause again, IÂ’m going to throw the remote into the blender.

Want an obedient kid? Get some leverage

Our son's summer trip to Japan has proven to be a 40-foot-tall, diamond-encrusted, solid-gold carrot. Who knew that was all it took to get him to take out the trash?