You have big responsibilities that necessitate your time. There
are "musts" on your list, essential and nonnegotiable parts of your
daily experience. But within your life, within your day, there
always are areas where you can make choices.
What kind of choices are you making?
Do you do what you want to do or do you do what you think you
should do? Do you volunteer because it makes you look like a great
parent or because it sounds fun? Do you accept an invitation to a
party because you want to be there or because you're afraid to say
Step back, take a breath, and notice what goes into your
decision making. It's wonderful to help others, but not if you are
sacrificing yourself in the process. How can you give of yourself
authentically if you are overwhelmed or depleted? How can you have
fun at a social event if you really want to be home relaxing?
This year recognize your needs and practice listening to them.
Let go of being everything to everybody so you can pay attention to
If you don't, you may end up resentful of those who ask for your
time. But they shouldn't be blamed for asking; it's your
responsibility to answer them genuinely.
Maybe this year you practice saying no. No to the things that
don't feel good. This creates space for things that do feel right-a
night out with your partner, a long conversation with your child,
an afternoon nap.
Yes, a nap. You deserve it. How do I know this? Because we all
We all deserve to be cared for, honored and respected. Instead
of looking to the outside world for this validation, why don't we
validate ourselves? Guilt may make an appearance, but you can take
a deep breath and let it go. Guilt is based on an old way of
thinking; an unnecessary self-depreciating martyrdom. Nobody can
make you feel guilty-you choose to feel it and only you can let it
Sound impossible? Then practice. Make this the year you kindly
say no to unwanted obligations so you can say yes to the things and
people closest to your heart.
Make this the year you focus on how you feel on the inside
rather than focusing on outside perception.
This is your time; this is your life-make the choices that honor
who you are.
Cathy Adams is a certified parenting coach, yoga instructor and mother to three girls.
See more of Cathy's stories here.
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