But flirting is vital to your relationship, says Bela Gandhi,
owner and founder of Smart Dating Academy
in Chicago. Gandhi, who's been married for nearly 16 years and has
two children, says she always followed her mother's sage advice:
Your spouse was there before and they will be there after, so be
careful not to ignore them while you're nurturing your career and
"Flirting is important because it shows receptivity. It
makes the other person feel important," she says. "Life happens.
Things do get more difficult. The complexities of life, they just
increase as you add more children. You have to make an effort to do
It might feel a little awkward at first. Or you might not
know where to start. The important thing, says Kim Olver, coach,
speaker and author of Secrets
of Happy Couples, is simply to try.
"I think a lot of times the reason it feels awkward is
because each person thinks it's the other person who should start,"
says Olver, a counselor in Country Club Hills. "That is so not
important. If we notice something is off in our relationship, the
person who notices it and is most upset by it, it's their
responsibility to start. If you want a change and you're not happy,
You don't suddenly need to become a Sofia Vergara or
George Clooney to put the flirt back in your fellowship. Just
follow these simple tips from Gandhi and Olver: