A better sex life may not start between the sheets, but at
your kitchen table. "If you're feeling bad about a low sex drive or
low sex frequency, talk to your partner," says Herbenick. "If
you're worried about it or disappointed, they probably wish they
were having more sex or better sex, too."
Simply bringing it up can help-maybe the two of you can
brainstorm some ways to have more time alone, or agree to make it a
"Most couples don't talk about sex when they're not having
it and that's not good for the relationship or their sex life," she
explains. "If you're not having sex, let your partner know it's on
your mind and that it's important to you, too. Your partner may
think you're not in love or attracted to him anymore, or that
you're having an affair."
That level of honesty can help get through the rough
patches when sex may be the last thing you crave.