If you are like me, you have had enough of those bumper
stickers, holiday letters and Facebook postings extolling the
excellence of the extraordinary children out there.
Don't get me wrong. I am blessed with two beautiful daughters.
But is there something wrong in today's society with ordinariness?
It seems like that has become a dirty word.
The market abounds with tutoring centers, sports clinic
facilities, music classes for newborns. You name it and it probably
The market is booming because it is motivated by fear-fear of
having an average child. Embarrassingly, I am not immune to the
siren call of desiring overachieving children.
I recently reduced my 13-year-old to tears over a "B." What
message am I sending her, and is it worth her starting down the
road to lifelong anxiety and stress?
My younger daughter loves soccer, but in all probability will
never be the one scoring the game-winning goal. But did I accept
that? No, I felt the pressure to enroll her in expensive classes to
refine her skills. Guess what? They didn't work.
She is just your average kid out there kicking away at the ball
haphazardly on a Saturday afternoon. I am just grateful I did not
manage to take her joy and love of the game away.
That is my concern. When all this achievement and the need to
find your child's talents from an early age is stressed, maybe we
are missing the people they are deep inside.
Maybe if just one parent has the courage to extol the virtues of
their "ordinary" child, it would give others the permission to
Maybe my shelves aren't lined with awards or certificates, but
as my teenage daughter voluntarily tells me about her day or my
10-year-old grabs my hand in front of her friends, I realize I am
OK with ordinary because it is those unwritten-about moments that
Amy Schaetzlein is a stay-at-home mom of two daughters living in Buffalo Grove.
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