As soon as Howard Wax and Robert Pooley began dating, they
talked about how much they wanted kids. When they were ready to
start their family, they began sifting through the options:
surrogacy, adoption, donor eggs. In the end, they decided to use
eggs from one donor, and sperm from each dad.
Robert Pooley (left) and Howard Wax with
Sarah and Marcus.
Wax and Pooley didn't want to know the sex of their twins. "I
felt like the whole process is: Here's a check and here's the egg
donor. There's not a lot of romance and mystery," Wax says. "The
gender of the kids is the one thing I didn't want to know."
When Sarah and Marcus were born, the men stood outside the
delivery room waiting to meet them. "They took the babies, cleaned
them up and delivered them to us one at a time as they came out,"
Wax says. "The first one was a girl and we opened her up like a
present. The second was a boy. They seemed like different people
immediately. His eyes were open all the time; he seemed
Wax, now a stay-at-home dad, and Pooley, a Chicago physician,
know it's not going to be easy to protect their children, but for
the most part they've found nothing but support from the people
"Our family's going to be what it's going to be, and hopefully
that's enough," Wax says. "I don't feel like I have to answer to
the critics. Anybody can criticize, but where does that get our
"It's up to us, society as a whole, to always support parents,"
Pooley says, "because in the end, what we (all) want to do is raise
good, decent children."
Liz DeCarlo is the former senior editor at Chicago Parent.
See more of Liz's stories here.
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