How new moms can get their groove back after having a baby


Being a new mom is great but sometimes you miss the woman you were before the baby. We spoke to a few experts on how to get your mind, body and soul back in their groove.


You wouldn't change a thing about being a mom (well, maybe it'd be nice to sleep through the night), but you sometimes long for the woman you were before your bundle of joy arrived.

So, we turned to a few experts.


Sassy tips to get your groove back

1 Hire a wardrobe stylist/personal shopper.

Your body has changed, but that should not discourage you from dressing like the pre-baby you. She's in there somewhere! The better you feel in your clothes, the better wife and mom you will be for your family. Hire a stylist who offers closet consultations and will escort you shopping or shop on your behalf. Nothing feels more glamorous than showing up at your favorite shop's dressing room that's filled with items hand-selected just for you! It's not as expensive as you think. Many stylists offer maternity and post-baby styling packages and will work within your budget.

2 Get Movin'

I know what you're thinking, hitting the gym is at the bottom of your list. Not interested in the gym? Go for a walk with baby or find a workout group like Active Moms Club. My only workout source for almost four years was exercising at home with DVDs like Turbo Fire, Turbo Jam and Physique 57. Find an at-home program that is intense enough to increase your heart rate and incorporates weight training.

  • Chicago Resource:

3 Hire a sitter

There is no better gift than giving yourself a break from baby, especially if you are a stay-at-home mom. Nothing creates burnout quicker than 24-hour mommy duty. Hire a sitter so you can work out, shop, sleep, run errands, have girl time, go to the spa, etc. Don't forget to budget for babysitter hours, even if you plan to leave your full-time job. Find the resources (friends, family, sitter service, etc.), even if it's only for an hour.

4 Make Me Over

Chances are you frequently are missing showers, and applying makeup has become a luxury. Every woman should have her very own makeup artist. It's easier than you think and it's FREE. Go immediately to your favorite department store, proceed to your favorite cosmetic counter and schedule an appointment with a beauty stylist. If you love the results, then use their services for any occasion you want to feel sassy (girls night out, date night, gala events, etc.). Most department store stylists will come to you for a small fee. Having your makeup applied professionally not only elevates your inner glam, but it gives you confidence knowing someone made sure you did not walk out the door with baby goo on your face.

  • Chicago resource: Laura Robenhorst, beauty stylist for Sue Devitt at Barney's

Alison Ray, founder of


Beat the two most common mom traps

1 I don't have time for myself

It's important to create time for yourself. Ask for help and accept help when it is offered. It's in the best interest of the baby to make yourself a priority-if you can do a few things a day for yourself, life will feel less chaotic and you will have more patience as a mother. Remember, your baby senses your energy, so if you are feeling chaotic and overwhelmed, your baby feels it, too.

2 I'm having an identity crisis

Becoming a mom is such a huge change, especially if you move from working full-time to staying home. After having a baby, you experience growing pains-your time no longer is your own, you are a novice at this new job of mothering, and every aspect of your life has been altered. Just knowing that it's normal to feel overwhelmed and unsure of yourself can be soothing.

Moms feel guilty when they struggle with the change-they feel they aren't maternal or that they are doing something wrong-but mothering takes adjustment, practice, and patience. The more you accept this, the easier it will be.

Cathy Cassani Adams, author of The Self-Aware Parent and host of Zen Parenting Radio


Two tips to find yourself again

1 Find five minutes for quiet and do nothing

It can be in the morning or night when the baby is asleep, or naptime during the day. Take five minutes to not be "on," not do laundry, not clean the house. Just sit for five minutes and breathe. Release the stress, relax your body, and take in the moment.

The first couple months, even the first year, have so many challenges, but they also have so many beautiful moments. If we are lost in the chaos, it is hard to appreciate what is happening. Taking five minutes a day for breathing and being present can make a big difference in how you perceive yourself and your experience.

2 Make time for the things you love

Don't forget about yourself as a person; you are a mom, but you also are (fill in the blank with your name). Have a date with your husband, exercise, go on a walk with your friends, or go get coffee by yourself. Even a trip alone to the grocery store can feel like a wonderful escape. Let go of the martyrdom and realize that other people can and want to support you. Being away for an hour or two is good for you-it's an opportunity to recharge your battery so you are excited and ready to return to your baby.

Cathy Cassani Adams, author of The Self-Aware Parent and host of Zen Parenting Radio


Three ways to get your bedroom groove back

If Stella can do it, so can you.

It might seem like the last thing on your mind or just one more item on your to-do list, but a healthy love life is just as important post-baby as it was before your little bundle of joy entered the picture. Why? Intimacy is one of the most critical connections you can have with your partner. It is a physical affirmation of all of your feelings of desire, admiration and love wrapped up in one very pleasurable act.

Looking for ways to rekindle your boudoir bliss?

1 Try, try again

It might take multiple times for you to feel the spark again with your spouse. Don't give up! Even if the first time doesn't knock your socks off, don't obsess about the extra 20 minutes of sleep that you could have. Remember that sex is not all about the physical. Stay focused on the emotional connection you are reestablishing by letting yourself linger for a few minutes of cuddling afterwards. That tender hug from your partner likely will show up again outside of the bedroom when you need it most. And, trust me, all new moms can agree that while the first few times are a bit ™different,∫ eventually it will start to feel more natural again and you will remember why you loved being a sex goddess in the first place!

2 Bring sexy back

OK, you might not be ready to break out the lingerie quite yet, but there are some products that instantly will make you feel sexy with minimal effort. I love kissable dusting powder (it comes it lots of delicious flavors). Just a quick dusting to your shoulders and décolletage and suddenly your body will turn into a walking aphrodisiac. Or, treat yourself to a new perfume. It's our best-kept secret for masking the smell of breast milk and giving your partner a quick reminder of how delicious and sensual you are.

3 Use a lube

After childbirth your hormones still are regulating and you might feel some dryness, which is perfectly natural. A lube will make sex so much easier and more enjoyable. Plus, there are a lot of ™fun∫ lubes on the market so you and your partner can add an element of surprise as you experiment with different brands and types (flavored, water-based, silicone, etc). Remember, if you are using a condom as birth control, make sure you do NOT use an oil-based lubricant.

Andee Harris, co-founder of Bedroom Chemist, an online team ready to help break the boudoir boredom


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