I'll never forget the most important words ever spoken to me. Some random ultrasound technician uttered with glee, "It looks like you're having twins."
Of course, having a baby changes things. I already knew this. I figured having a second child was going to change things again. But having a second and a third child at the same time?
While I am by no means an expert on the subject of raising twins, I do feel that after two years of being a dad to multiples, I now am qualified to share with you some tips learned in the trenches.
1 Don't buy two of everything
When you find out you've got two buns in the oven, the
first thought that goes through your mind is ... well, let me skip
the first thought. The second thought, however, usually is that you
are going to need double of everything. Not the case.
Yes, you will need double the diapers, wipes, bottles and
other necessities, but do you really need two swings and two play
mats? Chances are you can have one baby in a swing and one on the
play mat. If you do feel the need to double up on something, look
to your friends and neighbors. It can save you money you'll need to
spend on double the diapers and wipes.
2 Take all the help you can
You are going to find that people will come out of the
woodwork to offer help. Expect to receive offers for pretty much
everything, from holding babies, feeding babies, changing babies,
cooking dinners and cleaning your house to cutting the lawn. Here
is the one thing you need to know about this help: Accept it
If you do want to turn down some help, let them down easy.
Thank them for their offer and ask if you can call them when you do
need a meal or a hand. Once you get settled into a routine, friends
and neighbors tend to stop offering as much, so having a few people
you can call on later will be a wonderful resource when the twins
are 18 months old, both walking and you're exhausted.
3 Make time
Easier said. How you find the time is the hard part. Some
ideas include those precious moments after the twins go to bed but
before you pass out, or possibly when they are napping. Bonus tip:
Get them doing everything at the same time.
Don't forget that time for yourself doesn't have to mean
time away from home. While it is nice to get out of the house,
there are a few home activities you can do to "escape." Netflix or
a DVR will allow you to watch favorite films and shows on your
4 Make time for each
In case finding time for yourself isn't hard enough, you
also have to worry about finding time to spend with your
partner. Get a babysitter or a family member to watch the
twins even if just for an hour. Or, if money is tight, put the
twins into a stroller and go for a walk with your partner around
Or, sleep together. As in go to bed at the same time, just
like you did when you were first married, before your life was
dictated by the feeding, napping and changing schedules of two
babies. Cuddling and passing out together can be a beautiful
5 Prepare to be peppered with
Are those twins? I guarantee that when at the grocery
store or mall, you will be asked this question three to five times
before you check out. You will get so sick of answering this
question you will want to scream. Don't. Simply smile and say
Also, don't be offended if people inquire about your
reproductive health. Everyone will assume you had fertility
treatments. People will ask intimate questions you may not be
comfortable talking about with doctors, let alone a random stranger
at the supermarket. Change the subject. Do anything but let it get
6 Color coordinate it
While you won't need two of everything, you will need two
sets of things such as bottles, pacifiers, bowls and stuffed
animals. Our easy solution: Max was blue, Cole was
In the middle of the night when it was time for a bottle
and one baby needed formula and medicine and one needed just
formula, we just had to look for colors.