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This week three lucky Chicago Parent readers will be ready to send their tykes back to school with an Ultimate Back to School combo from Mabel’s Labels. The combos retail for $39 and include 40 Skinny-Minis, 50 Tag-Mates, 16 Shoe Labels and 2 Bag Tags. Winners will be able to pick out the color scheme and icon to be printed with their child’s name. For more information, visit mabel.ca. To win, tell us your tips on raising boys versus raising girls. Once you have posted, e-mail your answer, name and Chicago Parent ID to e-dition@chicagoparent.com. In submitting your comments, you are granting Chicago Parent permission to run them now or in the future. You must post and e-mail us for your answer to be counted. We will not release your information-it is purely for contact purposes. Winners will be chosen at random and may have no affiliation with Wednesday Journal Inc. or its employees.

This contest is now closed. Thanks to everyone who participated.

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Kate Pancero
Assistant Editor/Weekend E-dition Editor
FabMama columnist
Chicago Parent

I think the thing for all of us to remember when raising boys vs. girls -- or any gender mix of children, for that matter -- is that we must treat them as individuals.  Giving them each exactly the same thing, whether it's in activities, attention or toys, isn't appropriate for raising a healthy child.  Instead, go for the separate-but-equal approach, paying attention to their individual needs and addressing them as equally as you can.  While the kids don't always like it (I can't count the number of times I've heard "it's not fair" from both our son and our daughter), it's the best way to handle the situation so that everyone's needs are met.

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~Shayna

While there may be inherent differences in boys vs. girls, every child is an individual. My boys are very different from each other in many ways, and therefore need to be parented differently in a lot of ways. My girl is still a baby so I can't say anything about girls yet, but yesterday she was crying in the cart in Target and she didn't want the normal snacks, toys, etc.... but she stopped crying when I gave her an outfit from a rack of clothes... let's hope it's not a sign of things to come!

I don't feel that boys and girls should be raised differently from one another.  I have a son and a daughter and I am raising them both with the same values and family rules.  I have and will continue to instill in each of them to treat everyone with respect.  I  do believe, though, that each child is unique and that there will be times when I will need to address those differences in each of my children, but not because one is a boy and the other a girl.  They are each individuals and should be treated equally.     

I am the mom of two boys, so I haven't raised girls yet! But in my opinion (being a girl myself!) I think boys are easier to raise! Girls are definetly more moody and require more things than boys! I tell my husband that if we had a girl, he would have to get a 2nd job just so I could buy clothes for her! But every child is unique and needs to be raised in a way fit to them!

 

Before children I would spend time with my niece.  She would sit nicely on the floor and play with her dolls.  If we went somewhere she would walk nicely.  Now, two boys later I am a mom.  They are the exact opposite of my niece.  They don't walk they run.  They usually don't play quietly they bump, they thump, they stump, they crash (toy cars that is!).  I initally thought, "what is wrong with them?"  or "they are so wild".  Until some wonderful parents of boys and some great authors informed me that boys are just that boys.  Boys by design are active and rough - to name a just a couple of their natural characteristics; some more than others.  Yes, some girls fit the role as well but studies have shown that typical boys before like mine do.  I had to learn how to allow their natural tendencies to not make me think the worst of them, but find ways to channel such behavior into positive behavior.  I had to allow playing in the dirt to be okay.  Jumping and climbing became a necessity.  I have yet to have a daughter, but so far I am definitely raising some "real boys".

Senia - Chicago

I once knew a woman who had 4 boys, and when she had her bathroom remodeled, she had a urinal installed. But aside from spending thousands of dollars to make your house more boy-friendly, I think it's important to look at your kids' individual strangths and nurture those, regardless of the incredible amounf of gender-rleated peer pressure that's out there. For example, what do you do with a boy who's quiet, creative, artistic, not particularly athletic, and isn't particularly interested in the Bears or the White Sox? (People will say: he's like a girl.) That kid is going to need a lot of support and encouragement for the things he's good at, since he doesn't fit the sterotype. For girls, of course, it's more acceptble to be involved in typical "boy" activities, like sports.

I also saw a TV commercial, made in Europe, that featured a 20-second blaze of rapid images of women in heels, makeup, sexy clothes, etc. The series of images was immediately followed by a caption: "Talk to your daughters before the fashion industry does." Again, the gender-related pressures on both boys and girls are intense. It's a huge challenge these days to raise our kids of both genders to be who they are and not who the culture tells them they have to be.

Well, there really isn't enough room in any blog for this one... Boys are definitely full of more trouble... and boys and girls are completely different, despite what anyone says! I have 2 girls and a boy. The girls are absolutely moodier and can be MUCH snottier and argue more with each other. Not just eachother, but with their friends, too. Boys seem to feed off of eachother when more than one of them are playing... if my son is alone, he is fine- or if he is playing with a girl. Throw a boy in that mix and suddenly he is bouncing off the walls, listening less, and turns into a "class clown"...

I don't think the schools recognize the differences in boys and girls very well with their disciplinary systems, either, and I wish they would. My son got in trouble for things constantly that I felt a warning was more appropriate for, and that a girl just would really never even consider doing(such as literally bouncing off the walls!) They are just wired differently and I wish the schools would recognize that....

Yes, Bubble! I saw that commercial and was stunned to realize how many disturbing images are out there for our kids to process in a typical day. They don't have the ability to make sense of all of that information, especially when the media is telling/selling everything in sight from TV's, billboards, magazines, etc. Parents need to stay on top of that and 1) Limit exposure, then 2) TALK about what kids see and ask questions as to why the child thinks X Y Z is important, desirable or necessary. Teach your own family's values before the media can teach theirs!

I don't have any fabulous tips for boys vs. girls, other than what everyone else has shared. Look at the individual, emphasize their strengths, challenge any stereotypes that you think get in the way, and try to offer a gentle, nurturing, balanced life to each child.

Tell them they can do and be anything they want to be and point out people who have tackled the stereotypes society has set. Just yesterday, we talked about a kicker for our local HS football team (a girl!) and how I played baseball in the boys' league at age 12. I was the only girl in the league, the worst on the team, but stuck with it and learned a lot about myself and the sport. (Hello to anyone from Elmhurst's White Sox circa 1983. Thank you for being nice to me!).  Offer opportunities for kids to try different activities, you never know what they might end up loving.

Our pediatrician is a woman. Once when we came in on her day off and my daughter saw her colleague, a man, she questioned him, "Wow, I didn't know boys could be doctors?" (oops, I guess I never mentioned that to her.)

  

I truly believe each child is different with their own personalities and interests.  So I do tend to have them try everything at least once, and get them involved in activities that they do enjoy.  The only major difference I have noticed between my own daughter and son is their level of energy.  We nicknamed my 3 year old son the energizer bunny, because he really does keep going and going and going.  My tips on raising boys would be teach him not to be that stereotypical boy, teach him to clean up, do laundry, and cook.  This will teach him to be more self sufficient and hopefully burn off some that extra energy.  My husband and I try our best to treat our children as equals, regardless of their age and talk to them as we would another adult (no baby talk.)   My tips on raising girls would be to teach them about peer pressure early and being a strong independent person.  Although my daughter is only 5…I am hoping she will be so involved with school and after school activities that when she is a teenager she won’t have time for boys.  When she asks when she will get married….my husband always tells her she can date when she is 30.  LOL.  Mainly, enjoy them while they are young, because they do grow up so fast….

When we learned that we were expecting for the second time (with a four-year-old son already), we'd have been thrilled with a boy or girl.  However, we live in a fairly small house, and when we found out that we were having a second boy, one of my first thoughts was "Hey, you can stack them!"  We'll be shopping for bunk beds in a couple of years.  Also, I imagine having "two of the same" sets up a nice "mentor" relationship that might not exist with a boy-girl pair (or just might not be as common).

I am the mom of one boy.  I figure there are some things that he shouldn't do that I did as a little girl.  I make sure to surround him with boys and men so that he can see how "boy's" act.  Girls seems to be more passive than boys. Just observing my child's classmates in terms of boys and girls, it takes more effort with boys.  They don't just go with the flow.  They tend to be more challenging. 

Congratulations to the following Chicago Parent readers. They have won an Ultimate Back to School combo from Mabel’s Labels. The combos retail for $39 and include 40 Skinny-Minis, 50 Tag-Mates, 16 Shoe Labels and 2 Bag Tags. Winners will be able to pick out the color scheme and icon to be printed with their child’s name. For more information, visit mabel.ca.

TreysMom
NSTOVER
BillDG
 

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Kate Pancero
Assistant Editor/Weekend E-dition Editor
FabMama columnist
Chicago Parent