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The Red Thread

What happens when a long-time feminist activist becomes a mother? How does she stay true to her vocation and voice and still have time for her daughter? She's not sure either, but join this baseball-loving Chicago feminist as she tries to find her way through typical parenting land mines with a feminist perspective.

One in four moms with daughters has failed

Do you ever read headlines and you interpret them as your failure? That's what I did when I read yesterday that 1 in 4 teenaged girls have a STD.

The overall STD rate among the 838 girls in the study was 26 percent, which translates to more than 3 million girls nationwide, researchers with the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found. They released the results Tuesday at an STD prevention conference in Chicago.

For once I have the same position as anti-sex ed folks - Parents must be the primary knowledge base for their children when it comes to sex. Of course I also think that school-based sexuality education is a good thing and must be medically correct without ***-shaming. ***-shaming goes like this - Jill has sex with John on Friday gets a STD and then has sex with Bill on Monday and gives it to him. Jill should have abstained from sex! Um....where did Jill get the STD? Oh, yeah...maybe John?

Thankfully the article I link to does mention the role that boys play in this apparent epidemic of STDs:

"This is pretty shocking," said Dr. Elizabeth Alderman, an adolescent medicine specialist at Montefiore Medical Center's Children's Hospital in New York.

"To talk about abstinence is not a bad thing," but teen girls — and boys too — need to be informed about how to protect themselves if they do have sex, Alderman said.

And even better than that, the article has a  major focus on this rise in STD rates could be a direct result of abstinence only sex education.

"Those numbers are certainly alarming," said sex education expert Nora Gelperin, who works with a teen-written Web site called sexetc.org. She said they reflect "the sad state of sex education in our country."

Thankfully my daughter is only 4 1/2 and "the talk" is on the horizon. And I'm doubly thankful that I'll have Jennifer's wisdom to turn to when the time comes.

I also am not dumb enough to think that the teens having sex and getting STDs are doing this only because they have no idea what is going on. Teens are notorious for thinking that they can survive anything. Thus, I would like to think that anytime my daughter "fails" in life, I won't take it so personally. But I know otherwise.   

When she's not wallowing in Mommy Guilt, Veronica blogs at Viva La Feminista, WIMN's Voices, Chicago Moms Blog and Work it, Mom!

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Published Thursday, March 13, 2008 12:22 AM by Veronica Arreola

Comments

 

dani said:

Well, Roni - you know how I feel about the whole topic.

Personally, I plan to do the same thing that my cousin  did with all 4 of her kids (who are all young adults - incredibly intelligent, yada yada yada...)

My cousin has been working to prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS since the early 80's - presents at all sorts of international conferences, was instrumental in starting the CORE Center here in Chicago....and raised 4 kids - I work in the same field (health for the underserved) but only have 2 kids....

1.. Bring your child (probably around 13-14) to public restaurant.

2. Dump on the table an entire bag of condoms.

3. Talk to them about the fact that this is not about embarrassing them - but about saving their lives.

4. Tell them where you stand (I personally do not want my young teens or older teens having sex because I don't think that teens are emotionally ready - but I am not stupid or naive either....).  However, even though it is something that I may not think they are ready for - I do not want them risking their lives or health or someone else's.   I will keep a basket of condoms in the house where they can take as many as they like.  I will replenish them as needed - and if they want to talk to me they can.  I will not ask where the condoms go - just that they are used and that if their partner doesn't agree to wear one that they walk away (if they can...)

Sorry about the long post - I just know that more and more of these types of stats are going to be coming along....makes me crazy!

March 14, 2008 10:59 PM
 

Rees said:

I really hope that more of this 'teen- girl' STD crisis is addressed towards boys and parents' responsibilities as well. Most teenage girls become sexually active because of pressure from boys.  I know that 'mean girls' behavior is prevelent as well, but I think we must address low self-esteem in young women and girls as the root cause. If girls didn't feel like they needed to have sex to be 'loved' and if girls supported one another, instead of back-biting and criticizing each other I think that a lot more kids might either wait to have sex- or stand up and insist on their partner using a condom! Unfortunately the 'no sex-ed' folks usually tend to encourage girls in a subservient, low self esteem attitude in the first place- and then blame her when she gives in to pressure from a boy. Too bad everyone is the loser in that case.  

March 25, 2008 12:25 PM
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