This week's blog post is by WDP co-host Matt Rocco, who
lives in the Edgewater Glen neighborhood of Chicago with Professor
Foster (his non-white, non-dad wife), and their daughter Viva, who
is endlessly taken aback by her parents' good looks and
Oh, hello. I didn't see you there.
As you likely inferred from the title, I'm a Handsome Dad. Sure,
I know the term "D.I.L.F." and I won't say it's never been lobbed
in my direction, but I don't like to talk like that, you know, with
I'm flattered, though. Thank you.
So, what's it like to be so disarmingly masculine and fetchingly
distinguished? Oh, it's not so bad. You can get used to anything,
right? Some days I don't even think about how striking I am for a
good 45 minutes, even an hour, but then I catch a furtive glance
from a member of the yoga pants-and-strollers set, or perhaps a
curious twenty-something ogling the salt and pepper in my temples,
and I have to remind myself, Yes, Dad, they're looking at you.
Go on, ask me anything. I'm not shy, I'm just your average
thirty-something dad with a matinee idol jaw and the same waist
size he had when he was 18. No big deal.
Handsome Dad, is your Handsomeness and Charm a
distraction when you bring your child to classes or out
I'd be lying if I said that many mothers don't occasionally drop
their children off the play bridge at Gymboree when they hear my
potent laugh and see me treating my daughter with respect and
affection. Luckily the kids fall right on the squishy mat and
they're OK. At the supermarket I do what I can to cover up in a
tasteful pea coat with a richly colored scarf for a hint of
European flair, but sometimes it is difficult to go unnoticed,
especially with my adorable daughter oft repeating, "How I love
you, Daddy. How lucky Mommy is."
Handsome Dad, is it difficult to stay so
Well, time is at a premium these days, what with my exciting
career, the time spending building forts and doing crafts with my
daughter, my writing, the landscaping, and of course, all the hours
being emotionally present for my wife. But you can never be too
busy for after shave, styling gel, manly-but-well-groomed eyebrows,
and an up-to-date and seasonally apropos wardrobe.
The real key is to have the gene for handsomeness. I guess I
just do. Don't be too hard on yourself, though, sometimes it comes
out late in life.
Handsome Dad, do you think you will ever stop becoming
more and more handsome?
If an end is coming, I've seen no signs of it yet.
Handsome Dad, I'm scared. Are you going to seduce my
That wouldn't be very sporting, would it? No. Besides, as a
Handsome Dad I find myself married to an almost cruelly Sexy Mom,
so why would I need to? (Plus, she frowns on that sort of thing.) I
can't speak for your wife's intentions, though. As Emily Dickinson
said, "Sometimes the heart wants what it wants."
Wait, who is asking these questions? Are you writing
these questions yourself?
Ha ha ha. You're quite a jokester.
Well, that's about all the time I have. I need to start dinner
before my wife comes home - we're opening a special bottle of wine
tonight. Something from our Napa trip, I think. I know it's only
Tuesday, but, what can I say, she deserves it. Oh, and first I'm
going to go out and split some logs with my shirt off. Sure, I live
in the city and don't have a fireplace, but I like to donate
firewood to the poor.
It's just the kind of Handsome Dad I am.
If you enjoyed this essay, subscribe to the WDP podcast for
free on iTunes!
You can also listen at whitedadproblems.com. (Do
note that the show has a potty mouth and is definitely for Over 17
And follow the Dads on Facebook and on Twitter:
Three former college roommates, now hapless Dads on “the wrong side of 35”, investigate the mystery that is fatherhood... without a clue.
See more of White Dad Problems's stories here.
What to do with your weekend, delivered every Thursday.
Great deals and chances to win prizes, delivered every Monday.
Exclusive offers from our partners,usually delivered twice a week.
Resources for parents of children with special needs,delivered the second Tuesday each month.