What are Chicago dads supposed to wear in the summer?Tuesday, May 28, 2013
White Dad Problems
Have you seen the way Dads dress when the weather heats up? Crew socks and shorts. Short sleeve dress shirts. Tank tops and hairy backs. It ain't pretty. This week, the Dads struggle with sartorial choices for the summer months.
Summertime means less clothing - less clothing to cover up your gut, your man boobs, your hairy back, your chicken legs, and your sweaty armpits. Choices for clothing become fewer and tougher, and these days it barely cools off by October.
Todd goes with a uniform: cargo shorts and t-shirts and he just varies up the colors. D.M. lets his wife do the shopping, or else he'd end up mowing the lawn in black socks and sandals. Matt takes a trip to the mall to try and remain fashionable, but ends up looking desperate.
And what to do about the sweaty pits and the sweat back? The Dads suggest the "White Dad Problems 'Manly Pads'", something akin to feminine napkins that go under the shirt. As to what to wear to outdoor summer weddings if you don't have a white suit and broad brimmed hat like the 7Up spokeman in the 80's... they have no idea.
Oh, and colored pants? Short shorts? V-neck shirts? Man scarves? What's a Dad to do when fashion trends only look sensible on 20 year old gay guys? Grab your baseball shirt and hope you look better in the Fall.
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