A new report says that genital injuries related to toilet seats
are on the rise, particularly amongst potty-training young males.
You may have thought the bathroom was a safe place, but toilet
seats are falling on the junk of the youth of America and children
are bearing the weight of this terrifying epidemic! Won't someone
please think of the wee-wees? The White Dad Problems team
According to Reuter's Health, between 2002 and 2010, 13, 175
genital injuries occurred to to toilets or toilet seats, 68 percent
of which were CRUSH INJURIES. 97% of these injuries were to
children seven years old or younger, and five were to adults who
were either very short in stature or REALLY USING THE POTTY
Matt and D.M. are fathers to girls, but Todd has toilet trained
a boy and spells out how the injuries take place, comparing the
toilet to a certain invention by one Monsieur Guillotine. The Dads
search for solutions, from the institutional looking U-shaped seat,
to the infuriating "slow close" seat, to their new invention, the
White Dad Problems Penis Saver (patent pending).
Oh, and D.M. wants someone to invent a urinal you can poop in.
We're not sure why.
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