Talking to your kids about the birds and the bees

 
 

By White Dad Problems

As our sexy February comes to a close, the Dads examine how to talk to your kids about the lovemaking. (Remember lovemaking? Them neither.)

WDP14: Shame Sticks and Sorrow Holes by ChicagoParent

It's our last episode for February, Cupid's favorite month. In honor of the end of the month, we'd like to talk about the end of sex - i.e. the birth of kids. Now that your kids are bopping around the house, they're going to have some questions - how are babies made? Why does Kate Upton make us feel funny in our trousers? Why don't Bachelor contestants have any self-respect?

Todd's kids are getting older, and questions are starting to arise, questions like: what's happening on the other side of the master bedroom door? (Little do they know the answer mostly involved "Words with Friends.") Todd has been put in charge of teaching his kids about the birds and the bees, so he's busy collecting bananas and doughnuts for the presentation.

D.M. and Matt believe firmly in shame and fear based sex ed (and D.M.'s Italian Bronx wife believes in an onomatopoeia based sex ed - Bada Bing!), so they are compiling Google images of venereal diseases right now.

Thank goodness for drug-resistant gonorrhea.

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