What guys really think of those sex tips in CosmoTuesday, February 05, 2013
White Dad Problems
It's February, and that means love, romance and the screaming thigh sweats. The Dads will be tackling related topics all month, and this week they work to save men everywhere from the bad advice featured in the sex articles in women's magazines. (Note: This ain't for the kiddies.)
For decades, magazines like Cosmopolitan have churned out advice on new things ladies can do in the boudoir to "please their men." The Dads are here to tell you the truth about some of these supposed "turn ons", the very worst of which were inspired by the wildly popular romance-erotic-fan-fic (just look at that description... chilling), Fifty Shades of Grey.
Do men want to be stabbed with a fork under the table? Would you? No. And especially not when they're just waiting patiently for their kiwi-mango margarita at Chili's.
Do men want to answer questions to try and win ten seconds of pleasure from their partner? Zero seconds would be far less confusing and frustrating.
Flailing wildly at your man with a hair brush as he exits the shower is a great way to end up on Cops - not a great way to get him in the mood.
You know what you put saran wrap on? Leftovers. Not body parts.
Anything involving toothbrushes, or trips to CVS, for that matter... not sexy.
And are you looking for something to do with that jar of filthy pennies you've been picking up over the years. Try Coinstar, ladies... not currency-based vajazzling.
You can hear more of what these guys have to say at their full length podcast - subscribe for free on iTunes or visit whitedadproblems.com