The other day Camryn was getting ready for a big playdate with a
lot of girls. She was excited, but she was also a little leery
about some of the dynamics.
I sat and listened as she shared her concerns, about how one
girl always wants to take care of this girl and how this girl
doesn't really know this girl…
So I asked, "What will you do in these situations?" And to my
surprise, she smiled really big and said, "I guess I'll work it
I sat there and realized she needed nothing from me - no words,
no encouragement. But I continued to stare at her so I could fully
process what she just said. It was so simple and so trusting.
And with this simple statement she reminded me how worry is so
unnecessary and how fear does nothing except create more fear.
And how for 40 years I have "worked it out," regardless of the
situation, but yet I often find myself dwelling in concern or
mistrust about my ability to deal with life.
But life can only be dealt with one moment at a time. I cannot
deal with the worries or scenarios in my head because they are not
real. I can only be here making moment to moment choices.
Like Camryn, I can share my concerns and process my emotions,
but in the end, I really have to trust and appreciate that things
will "work out" just fine.
And what a relief I felt in that moment - what a tremendous
relief to realize I don't need to plan it all, or work it all out
in my mind, or create a solution to every mentally created/unreal
Instead I can let go and just be here. I can trust that I will
be the me I have always been and make the best possible
choice in the moment.
And if I don't, I will trust that I can make adjustments, say
I'm sorry or find another way, just like so many times before.
This is the way a child thinks and responds, but it's not a
childish way of thinking - it's actually pure presence and
The real challenge is to retain this fantastic reminder, to
remember what it feels like to be this free.
Will I forget? Of course, probably over and over again.
But no worries, because like so many times before, I guess - or
I know - I will work it out (insert smile here).
Cathy Adams is a certified parenting coach, yoga instructor and mother to three girls.
See more of Cathy's stories here.
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