I guess I'll work it outMonday, January 02, 2012
The Self-Aware Parent
The other day Camryn was getting ready for a big playdate with a lot of girls. She was excited, but she was also a little leery about some of the dynamics.
I sat and listened as she shared her concerns, about how one girl always wants to take care of this girl and how this girl doesn't really know this girl…
So I asked, "What will you do in these situations?" And to my surprise, she smiled really big and said, "I guess I'll work it out."
I sat there and realized she needed nothing from me - no words, no encouragement. But I continued to stare at her so I could fully process what she just said. It was so simple and so trusting.
And with this simple statement she reminded me how worry is so unnecessary and how fear does nothing except create more fear.
And how for 40 years I have "worked it out," regardless of the situation, but yet I often find myself dwelling in concern or mistrust about my ability to deal with life.
But life can only be dealt with one moment at a time. I cannot deal with the worries or scenarios in my head because they are not real. I can only be here making moment to moment choices.
Like Camryn, I can share my concerns and process my emotions, but in the end, I really have to trust and appreciate that things will "work out" just fine.
And what a relief I felt in that moment - what a tremendous relief to realize I don't need to plan it all, or work it all out in my mind, or create a solution to every mentally created/unreal problem.
Instead I can let go and just be here. I can trust that I will be the me I have always been and make the best possible choice in the moment.
And if I don't, I will trust that I can make adjustments, say I'm sorry or find another way, just like so many times before.
This is the way a child thinks and responds, but it's not a childish way of thinking - it's actually pure presence and faith.
The real challenge is to retain this fantastic reminder, to remember what it feels like to be this free.
Will I forget? Of course, probably over and over again.
But no worries, because like so many times before, I guess - or I know - I will work it out (insert smile here).