I believe in a good cry. It's an honest response to normal
emotion and it's a healthy way to release what you no longer
Children know how to cry, but we often stifle their emotion by
telling them they are "fine", "overreacting", or "dramatic".
This can be a disservice because crying is a natural
cleanser. It's the way the body releases what feels
uncomfortable and the way it heals what is painful.
Emotion can leak out other ways, through anger, sarcasm,
passive-aggressive behavior, but acting out carries more
consequences than a good cry. Doesn't everything seem
different after a good cry? Nothing has changed, but
everything has changed?
I cry when I am sad, frustrated, or even happy (sometimes this
confuses my girls and necessitates an extensive explanation).
But there are times when I am "stuck" because I am unsure of what I
am feeling or because I am feeling uncomfortable with my own
Music allows me to tap into my emotions; it carries memories and
allows me to feel more deeply. These are some of my
favorites; these songs serve as reminders and help me let go,
whatever the situation may be.
World is on Fire - Sarah McLachlan
I am blessed with being able to "feel" things very clearly….I
tend to pick up on people's emotions or the energy in a room.
But with all things there is duality, and the blessing can become a
drain, a challenge to my system. I take in too much and have
a hard time knowing what is mine, and what is somebody
else's. This song is my reminder that I can only do my part
and I have to allow other's to do the same.
The world's on fire and
It's more than I can handle
I'll tap into the water
I try to pull my share
I try to bring more
More than I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able…
This Woman's Work - Kate Bush
I hear this and remember Kevin Bacon in She's Having a
Baby, the moment he realizes he has been disconnected and
distracted from his own life. He experiences what Zen
Buddists call satori, an immediate awakening or instant
enlightenment to what is most important.
I should be crying, but I just can't let it show…
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things I should've said,
That I never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things I should've given,
But I didn't……
Saved the Best for Last - Vanessa Williams
My husband and I have always been friends and I always loved
him, but we said good-bye several times along the way because he
needed his 20's; his time for freedom and growth (and in hindsight
I did, too). Eleven years ago he asked me out on our first
official date, and this song brings back the happiness, the relief,
and the deep appreciation that there was a right time for both of
There was a time when all I did was wish
You'd tell me this was love
It's not the way I hoped or how I planned
But somehow it's enough
And now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last...
Annie's Song - John Denver
This is a song from my childhood, my Aunt Peg loves John Denver
and it reminds me of her. And it also reminds me of my girls,
the way I feel about them, the way that there are no words to
describe the love because it's too big. By using descriptive
language from nature, John comes as close as you can get.
You fill up my senses
like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime,
like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert,
like a sleepy blue ocean
you fill up my senses,
come fill me again….
Feel us Shaking - The Samples
This is a favorite song from college, a song that reminds me of
how it feels to be 20. And it reminds me of a friend that was
killed in a car accident a few years after we graduated, a friend
that went through an early "awakening" while we were in
school. Somehow through the haze of college he was able to
see what was most important and direct his path accordingly.
He died so young, but while he was here he understood and
appreciated why he was here (why all of us are here) and he knew
that he was, and still is, a teacher.
I'd like to stay but I couldn't stay with you
I have to go, I have a lot I want to do
Pleasures be waiting by the sea
with a smile for all the world to see…
How do you let it go? Feel free to
Cathy Adams is a certified parenting coach, yoga instructor and mother to three girls.
See more of Cathy's stories here.
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