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Songs that bring on the tears

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Monday, June 28, 2010
Cathy Cassani Adams
The Self-Aware Parent

 

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I believe in a good cry.  It's an honest response to normal emotion and it's a healthy way to release what you no longer need.

Children know how to cry, but we often stifle their emotion by telling them they are "fine", "overreacting", or "dramatic".  This can be a disservice because crying is a natural cleanser.  It's the way the body releases what feels uncomfortable and the way it heals what is painful.

Emotion can leak out other ways, through anger, sarcasm, passive-aggressive behavior, but acting out carries more consequences than a good cry.  Doesn't everything seem different after a good cry?  Nothing has changed, but everything has changed?

I cry when I am sad, frustrated, or even happy (sometimes this confuses my girls and necessitates an extensive explanation).  But there are times when I am "stuck" because I am unsure of what I am feeling or because I am feeling uncomfortable with my own vulnerability.

Music allows me to tap into my emotions; it carries memories and allows me to feel more deeply.  These are some of my favorites; these songs serve as reminders and help me let go, whatever the situation may be.

World is on Fire - Sarah McLachlan

I am blessed with being able to "feel" things very clearly….I tend to pick up on people's emotions or the energy in a room.  But with all things there is duality, and the blessing can become a drain, a challenge to my system.  I take in too much and have a hard time knowing what is mine, and what is somebody else's.  This song is my reminder that I can only do my part and I have to allow other's to do the same.

The world's on fire and
It's more than I can handle
I'll tap into the water
I try to pull my share
I try to bring more
More than I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able…

This Woman's Work - Kate Bush

I hear this and remember Kevin Bacon in She's Having a Baby, the moment he realizes he has been disconnected and distracted from his own life.  He experiences what Zen Buddists call satori, an immediate awakening or instant enlightenment to what is most important.

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show…
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things I should've said,
That I never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things I should've given,
But I didn't……

Saved the Best for Last - Vanessa Williams

My husband and I have always been friends and I always loved him, but we said good-bye several times along the way because he needed his 20's; his time for freedom and growth (and in hindsight I did, too).  Eleven years ago he asked me out on our first official date, and this song brings back the happiness, the relief, and the deep appreciation that there was a right time for both of us.

There was a time when all I did was wish
You'd tell me this was love
It's not the way I hoped or how I planned
But somehow it's enough
And now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last...

Annie's Song - John Denver

This is a song from my childhood, my Aunt Peg loves John Denver and it reminds me of her.  And it also reminds me of my girls, the way I feel about them, the way that there are no words to describe the love because it's too big.  By using descriptive language from nature, John comes as close as you can get.

You fill up my senses
like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime,
like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert,
like a sleepy blue ocean
you fill up my senses,
come fill me again….

Feel us Shaking - The Samples

This is a favorite song from college, a song that reminds me of how it feels to be 20.  And it reminds me of a friend that was killed in a car accident a few years after we graduated, a friend that went through an early "awakening" while we were in school.  Somehow through the haze of college he was able to see what was most important and direct his path accordingly.  He died so young, but while he was here he understood and appreciated why he was here (why all of us are here) and he knew that he was, and still is, a teacher.

I'd like to stay but I couldn't stay with you
I have to go, I have a lot I want to do
Pleasures be waiting by the sea
with a smile for all the world to see…

How do you let it go?  Feel free to comment.

 

Cathy Adams is a certified parenting coach, yoga instructor and mother to three girls.

See more of Cathy's stories here.

Contact Cathy at cathycadams@sbcglobal.com

 
thank you

By Cathy on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Thanks for the comments.....I love reading your stories. Tamara, the song is Angel.....

shared emotions with my boy

By Amy on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

He's just six years old, but many people have commented on what a kind, gentle soul my son Nathan is. I think we both share a deep emotional pool inside us. For a long time, I would tell him how certain Christmas songs stir something inside me and they "make my heart ache a little bit." I tried to explain to him how the songs remind me of Christmas past, and my Grandmother and Grandaddy who are no longer on this earth to share Christmas with us. I didn't know if he understood what I meant. Then this last Christmas, Nathan told me he heard a Christmas song played at school for rest time - out of season. He said "it hurt his heart a little bit." He said, "I got a little bit sad thinking about Christmas." I felt a huge connection with my son then. I love that music can move and connect you in ways you didn't think were possible. Side note - my husband and I both love "Annie's Song" and only rediscovered it after our wedding . What an amazing song. Great column, as usual!!!

crying

By Tamara on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I don't tend to cry often, but lately I've had a lot going on and find myself crying every day on the commute to work. It might be a song that triggers it or some idiot cutting me off. But as to songs, the Sarah McLachlan song that always gets me is the one they use on the Humane Society ads showing all those sad, battered animals (can't remember the name).

whatever

By gg on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

i always cry... either while reading your columns or after ... these articles seems to bring up and out lots of emotion. go figure.

emotion

By shayne on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I seem to deal with my emotions lately through unpredictable encounters in nature. I never know what will bring old emotions up. It could be a song, a movie, a sad or happy memory or witnessing nature. For example, I tried to save a drowning bee last week. Every time I pulled him out of the pool, he would shake himself off and begin walking right back to the edge, and again fall into the water. I kept wanting him to dry off and fly away!! But, after the 4th time of pulling him out of the water, he took a couple of steps, but looked way too tired and weighed down, and he ended up just curling up and dying at the side of the pool. I felt terrible. I hate seeing any living thing suffer, even insects. I thought I was saving him, but later I thought maybe I was interfering with nature. He might have been trying to go in the water to die for a reason that I don't know. I talked about it with a neighbor who was walking by. She told me he may have been drawn to the water because he lost his stinger. Either way, I felt so bad for most of the afternoon. I cried later that night. It felt good, but I couldn't understand why I am so affected by a bee!! I tried to go deeper, then I realized that I was witnessing a surrender. The bee was tired. I think it may have triggered old grief from watching my step father suffer, who put up a great fight, but eventually surrendered to the universe's grand plan. (cancer) I realized also that I AM the bee. I've had to let go and give things up that weren't serving me anymore: substances, jobs, places, sweaters, shoes, and relationships. Watching the bee wither up and die triggered old feelings of pain, loss and surrender that are still surfacing and being processed. So, getting the ball rolling for me can be unpredictable. Watching CNN is one way that I've decided is not productive anymore. It feeds the fear and sadness more than "allowing" it. Nature, memories, art, and music are the healthiest ways for me to get in touch with stuff that I've been pushing down. When it comes up, I embrace it, then I try to do something positive with it. Maybe sharing the experience with somebody I trust (or a blog on the internet) or I try to be of service and help somebody later. That seems to feed the soul with whatever emptiness I may feel after the initial emotion.

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