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Send love, not guilt

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Cathy Cassani Adams
The Self-Aware Parent

 

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headshotA few people have mentioned that they feel guilty when they view images of the destruction in Haiti. I know their heart is in the right place - they care and they want to help.  They feel overwhelmed and unable to respond, so their feelings show up as guilt.

Understandable, but I urge them to feel peace and love, not guilt.  Guilt, anger, and all of the negative emotions aren't helpful.  They send out even more negativity into a world that desperately needs love and compassion right now.

You can't feel bad enough to make it better over there.  This is an opportunity for awareness and action, not guilt.

It's normal to feel sadness about such a tragedy.  We feel the tremendous loss and we need to grieve.  We need to discuss and process it.  This is a healthy expression of emotion.

But try not to get stuck.  You can be informed and aware without being inundated by the images on television.  Too much information can promote fear and suffering and that doesn't help anybody.

Now is a perfect time for self care.  Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act; it's a selfless act.  Feeling good opens up space so you can give to your children, your community, the world. Misery shuts you down and makes you unavailable.  Feelings of peace and love allow for creativity and productivity.  The more energy you have, the more you have to give.

You can give to the people of Haiti, to the people in your neighborhood, to your city, and to your own family.  We are all connected so offering kindness of spirit to those around you makes an impact.

Don't underestimate the small gestures.  Smile at people passing by.  Hold open a door for the person behind you.  Tell people thank you.  Demonstrate patience and let go of the simple frustrations.  Give your children a big hug before bed and tell them what they mean to you.

Love and peace starts one person at a time and it has a ripple effect.  Help the world one gesture at a time.

If you want to give to Haiti directly, find something that is meaningful to you.  If you believe in prayer include Haiti in your prayers.  If you believe in energy send Haiti positive vibrations.  If you believe in action, give monetarily.

The Red Cross has made it very simple to give - make a $10 donation by texting 'Haiti' to 90999 or make a financial contribution online.  You can also join the effort to convince global creditors to cancel Haiti's $1 billion international debt so money can be invested in long term development.

Tragedy is always a reminder of what's important - love, relationships, and helping others (with creative gifts, spiritual gifts, and monetary gifts).  The hope is that we can hold onto this awareness and cultivate the ideals into our everyday life.

Do you have ideas on how to give to Haiti, your community or your own family?  Please share by posting a comment.

 

Cathy Adams is a certified parenting coach, yoga instructor and mother to three girls.

See more of Cathy's stories here.

Contact Cathy at cathycadams@sbcglobal.com

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Help!!

By Barbara Johnson on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I to feel guilty when I see suffering,I wonder if I done enough to help, then I remenber My Mother saying "Every Little Bit Helps"and It will make you feel so good.

thank you!

By Cathy on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

these are great ideas everybody - thank you for sharing!

Makes me feel better. . . .

By pogbear on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Having lived through a hurricane seeing how devasting it can be empowers me to want to help as our community was helped. The Red Cross was wonderful to us, and I LOVE the idea of donating blood. Thanks, Amy, I did not know about that option. In the meantime I think I will turn off the TV and think positive thoughts remembering the stories of survival I have watched so far. Maybe since being there isn't an option, sending those good vibes will help someone still waiting to being saved survive. Thanks, Cathy. Your thoughts are always uplifting.

another way to help

By Deb on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

shareyoursoles.org is collecting shoes

Recruiter

By Amy Hearst on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Please go donate blood! Once all of your state's needs are fulfilled (and many states have low blood supplies because of crummy weather), other blood is used for the armed forces and then goes on to the state of Florida , which is helping Haiti . You can make a difference!! Go donate. In Chicago , I liked LifeSource. http://www.lifesource.org/ If you have a child with you, many of the donation centers offer crayons & coloring books. It only takes about 40 minutes for the whole process. Go donate! You'll feel good about helping others.

"mother - in - law"

By sharon ghilarducci on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

yet more positive thoughts on a negative situation...good job. i lean toward the negative (or havent u noticed) and becuz of u, i try to stop myself and find the positive response, rather than negative, and if i cant i try to keep my darn mouth shut! ur work is cut out for you with not only me but a lot of my generation.

Relief organizations

By Kim on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Thanks for a wonderful reminder Cathy. Here are a few more options if people are looking for smaller healthcare organizations who have existing infrastructure in Haiti. Partner's in Health (this organization is in Mountains Beyond Mountains - a biography of Dr. Paul Farmer) - http://www.standwithhaiti.org/haiti GHESKIO clinics affiliated with Cornell Medical College - http://weill.cornell.edu/globalhealth/ Northwestern University is sending a group of physicians and medical supplies in conjunction with USAID and Haitian NGO's - http://foundation.nmh.org/HaitianRelief

Help Haiti!

By Paul Long on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

re:member group--a Loyalty Marketing Firm--will donate $1 (up to $1,000) to the Salvation Army to support Haiti Relief for every new facebook fan! go to www.facebook.com/remembergroup to become a fan, then repost this to your Facebook status!

Poor Haiti

By Walter B. on Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I had the pleasure to hear Pastor Issac from the Jeremy District in Haiti speak several months back at our church. He told us that the people in Haiti are very, very poor with little hope. Pastor Issac's painfully sad stories were a powerful reminder of how lucky we are to live in these United States. And now the earthquake and yet another earthquake. Your words are a small ray of love filled sunshine. Give if you can and give from your heart, the people of Haiti need all the help they can get. Because they won't get it from their government...

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