Last weekend was the girlfriend trip, one of my favorite
weekends of the year. It can be a challenge to plan and not
everyone can make it every year, but for as long as I can remember
it has been a priority.
Some of us have made the trip while nursing an infant (the
pumpers usually share a room) and some of us leave a ridiculous
pile of work at the office. It's not easy to carve out time and it
can be a challenge to say good bye to the family, but 10 minutes
out the driveway I always remember why I need to go.
For a weekend the two names I love, Mama and Sweety, are
replaced with Cathy or Cassani (what most of my friends from
college call me). Two names that help me reclaim a part of
myself - before the career, before the family, before the busy
Last weekend began with a three hour drive with Lara. We
catch up on all things important and I find myself shifting into
"college language" (a little slang, a little cursing). At one
point I look at Lara and laughingly apologize for swearing so
much. She looks at me confused and says, "I didn't even
notice". We so quickly drop our careful mom language and fall
back to the way we have always been.
We connect with the rest of the group, relax with a glass of
wine and appreciatively acknowledge the lack of connection to
time. A conversation that started at 7 p.m. can last until 2
in the morning, and our days are not "scheduled". If we feel
like doing something we do it, but we don't burden our time with
expectation. The only burden in the weekend is getting to a spa
appointment on time or making sure we make a dinner
This group knows how to tell stories and laugh, and we make fun
of each other for the stupid things we did in our 20's (and
30's). We talk about our present day experiences, and though
most stories have happy endings, we have our share of tears,
too. It's always a great release, a safe place to share what
you are really feeling with people who have loved you your whole
The highlight of our weekend is the dance party - a girl's
weekend staple. In the early days it happened twice a
weekend, but as we get older we can only depend on one big
night. Last weekend we had to reserve an evening for New Moon
- think of it as group appreciation for the beauty of Edward Cullen
(…and Jacob, too, I guess).
Dance party is always my favorite part of the weekend because
it's all about letting go. We usually end up with sore muscles, a
broken speaker, and sometimes bruises and cuts from attempting
dance moves like the worm (or a handstand into the worm, right
We listen to old music and my hipper friends introduce me to
more current songs. For a night my concerns and agendas are
replaced by loud music and dancing, an exercise I have appreciated
my whole life, even when I was a little girl listening to the
When Sunday comes we are ready to return to our lives, but I
always go back feeling a little different. A little more full
and definitely more content. Reconnecting with Cathy Cassani
helps me return to Mama and Sweety with renewed energy - they come
together in harmony and I feel more whole.
As I put my daughters to bed on Sunday night I share the details
from my weekend - the long nights of talking and dancing, the
shopping, the pedicure, the eating out at restaurants, and the
visit to the local chocolate store that results in me eating
chocolate all weekend. My oldest daughter stares at me with
envy and says, "Can I do all that when I'm in my 30's?"
I smile and nod, tuck them in, and make a silent wish of love
for all of my daughters. A love of self so they make
themselves a priority, companion love like the connection I have
with their dad, and the special love of lifetime girlfriends.
Friends that keep you grounded and stand by you as you rediscover
yourself - on the dance floor, or in life. Friends that hold
the memories and continually remind you of who you are.
I don't want to think anymore, I left my head and
my heart on the dance floor. ~ Lady Gaga
I love you girls……
Cathy Adams is a certified parenting coach, yoga instructor and mother to three girls.
See more of Cathy's stories here.
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