Let your kid cry it out
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
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Sara Rontal FisherRecent posts
Another date with early intervention? - 12/10/2010
Chicago Baby Holiday Gift Guide - with giveaways! - 11/27/2010
Baby, it's cold outside - 11/23/2010
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When the hazy days of newborn nirvana wear off and all you're left with are loads of laundry and constant cravings of beverages that end in -cino, -ato or -esso, you'll do just about anything to get some shut eye.
I tried the various ways to get my baby to sleep through the night, but nothing worked. No amounts of check and consoling, swinging or feeding would make him sleep longer than three hours at a time. At four months old, the only option left was to let him cry it out (CIO.)
I first consulted with my pediatrician on whether or not it was okay to let him start to self-soothe, and when I got the thumbs up, I started my research to figure out the best technique for sleep training. I read up on books about CIO and self-soothing, mainly from local sleep doctor extraordinaire, Dr. Marc Weissbluth. His book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, was like a Bible to me with my first. Three-and-a-half years later I had to refresh my memory. The book offers up three ways to get your baby to sleep better: No Cry, Maybe Cry and Let Cry. Though it sounds cruel, Dr. Weissbluth says that Let Cry, or "Extinction," works the best and fastest. I knew it was true - I had done it before. But gearing up to let my baby cry his lungs out seemed daunting and primitive.
The first night was the worst. The guilt was immense. After two hours of crying I almost went into his crib, but something inside said "the doctors say no!!" and five minutes later he stopped. When I walked in his room in the morning, he was all smiles and ready for the day.
The second night was better - he only cried two times for about 30 minutes each. By the fourth (or fifth) night, (my then sleep-deprived brain just doesn't quite remember correctly), he was sleeping 12 hours. And I had survived my second round of sleep training.
People may think I'm crazy, evil or just plain mean. There are some of my friends who would never let their kid shed a tear for even a second. But for me, a few nights of wailing was worth a happy, restful baby. And worth all the money I'm now saving on coffee drinks.
But what about you? Would you let your baby cry it out?
Sara Fisher is a mother of two living in Roscoe Village. She also blogs at selfmademom.net.
See more of Sara's stories here.
2 hours crying!!By Amanda on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 You left your child crying for 2 hours without going into him? Shame on you!! |
CongratsBy kim/hormone-colored days on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 Congrats on the new blog! |
Different personalitiesBy selfmademom on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 Thanks for all the feedback! It's funny because my kids have such different personalities and CIO worked for both of them! |
I'm anti-CIOBy Adventures In Babywearing on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 I'm very anti-cry it out but it's a personal issue- I can't take their crying- even when it's not night time. I'm an instant soother, co-sleeper, etc. and I prefer it that way. But I think it's a case of having to do what is best for you. I also agree with Caitlin- all FOUR of my kids have been so different. I think parents need to go with their gut and do what works best for them and their baby. Steph |
three kids = three different sleepersBy caitlin on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 I've found that each of my three kids are different when it comes to sleep. I am hesitant to subscribe to any particular sleep theories because I don't think that there is one approach that works for all babies. At least, that hasn't been the case at my house. |
CIO believerBy Amy G on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 I, too, used Dr. Weissbluth's book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to sleep-train my son. He was around 6 months at the time (only b/c he went through endless colds around the time he was 4 mos old). The first night was about 45 mins of crying, second night was maybe 20 minutes, then it was heaven. There are, of course, waves of re-sleep-training. But it's so worth it for the entire family to be well-rested. |
Totally agree on CIO!By Sam on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 I think what most people who wouldn't let their kid shed a tear are missing and what I thought was more important is that with more rest for the parents, the quality of your parenting is much improved. If parents are tired, cranky and never getting the much needed rest they need, it's hard not to fall into a slump. We used that book and loved it for all the common sense advice it offered. I have met parents who have 2 year olds who can't sleep in their own beds and if they are forced to, can only sleep in two hour increments because the parents thought CIO was too difficult and must be rocked every two hours. Great post! |
Believer in CIO
By Kelly on Tuesday, November 13, 2012
I also believe in Cio. I've had to use it with 2 of my children. Not until they were older but still it's like you said sometimes enough is enough. My daughter was used to being held every night to go to sleep so finally at a year I said she needs to learn to teach herself how to go to sleep. Same with my youngest but it was sooner with him. I know everyone has there own opinions on it but for us it worked really well.