Every mom knows that the landscape of your torso
pre-baby is far different than the one you're left with once you
retire the nursing bra.
Those once decorative sweater bunnies lose their
whimsy after being put through the wringer of pregnancy and
When I was nursing my kids, I referred to the
strangers on my chest as "business boobs." They were consultants,
here to do a temporary job. They left, and the office was in
Two months after I stopped nursing, I realized I
didn't have any properly fitting undergarments. I was tired of the
nursing tank/sports bra uni-boob. My pre-pregnancy bras were too
small, the nursing bras too big. I needed to find my Goldilocks
I decided to get the first bra fitting of my
Backstory: My mom tried to make me do this when I
was about 12, and it was not a success. When the well-meaning woman
in the lingerie department at Marshall Field's asked me to remove
my shirt and came at me with a cloth tape measure, I reared like a
spooked horse. Catholic school had done its job. Toplessness was
exclusively for showers, m'lady. Kindly retreat. The whole macabre
enterprise ended with me backed into a corner of the dressing room
with my hands crossed over my fully-clothed chest while this poor
woman kept trying to approach with the tools of her trade. My
embarrassed mom finally threw in the towel. We left the store of
two minds: My mom, ready for filicide. Me, triumphant. The
ill-fitting brassiere was the only constant.
Two decades later, it was time to try again. I went
to Intimacy at 900 Shops and told the consultant I was there for a
post-baby lift, one of the most common reasons for a fitting it
-Nearly every woman thinks she is a 34B. Almost
none of them are.
-Bra sizing is mysterious and confusing to all but
the most highly trained specialists. Don't try to understand. Just
-Once you've had one or more C-sections, it's
probably best to decline the matching thong.
When I was properly fitted, I could not believe the
transformation. People kept asking if I lost weight. Nope. Just
lifted the wreckage back to sea level. I looked and felt so much
better, for just $60 and one hour of my time. (Fittings are free.
The bras are not.) Now I'm a fitting evangelist.
You only have so much control over your post-baby
body and a new bra is a lot cheaper and easier than
Rebecca Little, a native Chicagoan, loves discovering new ways to keep her two very active boys entertained lest they resort to spackling heirloom furniture or flushing toy trains down the toilet - not that those are real examples. Follow her at PinwheelChicago.com.
See more of Rebecca's stories here.
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