After almost five years of mothering, I can safely
say that parenthood is one of the hardest jobs on the planet; below
neurosurgery, but above rocket science. I've also
found that, starting with pregnancy, the ability to retain common
knowledge and perform basic tasks becomes difficult. And it only
gets worse the more times you become pregnant and add more children
to the mix. Considering the fact that I only have two
children, the mommy brain I already experience on a daily basis is
1. I have already begun to channel my mother when I
forget which child I needed and proceed to call every child's name,
my husband's name, and my old dog's name, before finally landing on
the child I needed. "CHARLIEJACKJIMJAKEJACKSONCHARLIE, SOMEONE JUST
2. Some days, five o'clock shows up way earlier
than I anticipated and I realized I don't have dinner ready or even
remotely prepped. On those days of absent-mindedness, we usually
end up with pancakes for dinner - topped with some semblance of a
fruit compote - which is my effort to show my family just how
"totally different this is from what we ate for breakfast just ten
3. I once sent my children on a wild goose chase
throughout our house to find my phone that I swore they had snuck
away to play games on. I may or may not have played dumb when the
phone was discovered in the refrigerator a short while
4. Laundry is my least favorite chore around the
house. Why? Because I do loads of laundry every.single.day.
Usually, the same load that I forgot about and fear that it will
get moldy so I wash again, promising myself that I will in fact
switch it to the dryer later only to forget again. Rinse.
5. I forget at least one thing every time I go to
the store. It's usually the one thing that I actually needed at the
With all of this mommy brain madness, I could
compare myself to other parents and see just how inadequate I
really am. Who am I kidding? I played the comparison game recently
when I attended Dr. Smith's Diaper Rash Ointment launch at RPM
Italian and met Bill & Giuliana Rancic. With her perfectly
coiffed hair and his killer smile, they seemed so put together and
not likely to forget laundry in the washer for hours. It was
refreshing to find out that not only do they use the same diaper
rash ointment that we can get at Walgreens, but that they are not
afraid to take selfies for Instagram.
Did I mention Bill and I are BFFs now?
See more of Samantha's stories here.
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