I had heard the funny stories of things you do and
say when you are sleep deprived or your brain is busy thinking
about the 1,343,567 you are doing or should be doing at that
moment. I have my own share of those stories, from leaving without
putting shoes on my child to having to look up my child's birthday.
What no one tells you about mommy brain is that it's not always
funny and it never goes away.
My mommy brain is broken.
Motherhood took the sure, confident brain I had and
it turned it into scrambled eggs. I went from carefree to
filled with anxiety. It took me through the trauma of my first
birth and left me a confused stranger in my own skin. For me mommy
brain is anxiety, fear, sadness, anger and many other emotions I
never, ever expected.
Motherhood changed how I think, act and feel. I
have struggled at times with this change. Fighting it, not
understanding it, wishing it away, but it's made me a better
mother. My struggles with postpartum depression and grief have made
me calmer and more empathetic to a child who is upset and doesn't
know why. When my daughter says she doesn't know why she's crying,
I can wrap her in the love of understanding that sometimes we don't
know and that's okay. The anxiety that I have dealt with since
losing a baby has given me insight into normal childhood fears and
worry. It has given me tools to help them work through their fears
and face them head on.
My mommy brain is different.
My mommy brain has made me who I am. It's made me
take stock in the importance of a slower pace, of self care, and of
admitting you need help. While motherhood broke me initially, it
has put me back together as a new and different person and made me
the mother I am. It hasn't always been funny or pretty, but that's
motherhood for you. Sometimes it's more sticky than
Melissa is mom to 4 kids and 2 angels. She chronicles the sticky bits of motherhood at Peanut Butter in my Hair.
See more of Melissa's stories here.
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