Hi! For those of you that don't know me, I'm Melissa from
in my Hair and I'm so excited to be blogging with you at
I'm a healthcare worker by degree, but motherhood made me a
writer. In fall of 2008 we left the city with 2 small children in
tow for the far north suburbs. I started blogging to keep in touch
and find my way in this strange new suburban world.
Motherhood is sticky in more ways than one. I write through
those sticky bits-PPD, miscarriage, body image, mothering- to help
myself (and others!) figure it all out.
"Girl are you crazy?"
"Um, really...um... WOW."
"I need to make sure my wife doesn't drink your water!"
These are just a few of the reactions I have received to the
news of my pending fourth child. Wide-eyed stares and nods are
another. I think much of the time they are trying to figure out if
I am one of those Duggar types, or if it was an "oops!" and if
there is a socially acceptable way to ask (there isn't).
I've worked hard on my poker face the last 36 weeks because
really their reactions have become entertainment for me. If I'm in
a really ornery mood I may put them on the spot and say something
like "Well this is my 6th pregnancy but it will be my fourth
child". That usually, but not always, stops a conversation. No
one likes talking about lost babies.
I'm not any of those above things. I'm no a Duggar wannabe or
crazy lady (well maybe just a little crazy). I came from 3, my
husband from 2. I always liked the idea of a big family; it looked
like so much fun on TV! My grandparents were each from families of
5+ and the holidays were fun with so many great aunts and uncles
around. My grandpa and grandma had a whole village built right
around them with their siblings, spouses and their spouses
It's unconventional these days to have large families, although
it seems to be gaining popularity... at least in reality TV land. I
knew from the moment I walked away from a career that if I was
going to stay home we were going to have more than one child.
In my first playgroup when all the kids were around 18 months,
conversations centered around the idea of another baby and everyone
chimed up that they all wanted one more. But that was it, they'd
stop at two. I knew then that 4 seemed like a good number, one for
each parental hand. I got shocked reactions then, too.
My kids have built in playmates and confidants. My older two are
23 months apart and they are best friends (and at times worst
enemies). My daughter was almost 3 when we found out we were
pregnant with our third, who we lost at 18 weeks. For a long time I
thought, maybe there's a reason, maybe we were being greedy and
should be happy with what we have. My second daughter was born
almost a year to the date of when we lost my son. I can't imagine
our family without her.
In four short weeks my youngest will both turn two and become a
big sister. She is already bonded to this baby I carry. She hugs my
belly and kisses it nightly. I don't doubt that they will be as
close as my older two.
The innate love and caring my children have for their siblings,
the way my oldest son will take the toddlers hand and guide her-it
melts my heart every time. If it wasn't for my age, seeing them
become older siblings and that love grow could easily convince me
to have more.
Yeah, it's a little crazy, but it's crazy love and that's the
best kind of crazy.
Melissa is mom to 4 kids and 2 angels | writer | creator | localist with LittleLakeCounty.com. She once lived in heels and dreamed of traveling the world, now she lives in her minivan and dreams of a clean kitchen
See more of Melissa's stories here.
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